Subject: Communication (Page 59)

I, of course, don’t have an accent; this is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Language

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Animals Communication Language

Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but, unlike charity, it should end there.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician
Communication

I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Communication Language

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

Contempt: The feeling of a prudent man for an enemy who is too formidable safely to be opposed.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

This report, by its very length, defends itself against being read.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

I'm the master of low expectations.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication Language

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Language

There are very few people at the Fringe these days doing Roman-numeral jokes; I is one.

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

I used to be in a band called ‘Missing Cat’… you probably saw our posters.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Situations

Propaganda is the art of persuading others of what one does not believe oneself.

(1915 – 2002) Israeli diplomat & politician
Beliefs Communication Opinion

Slander: To lie, or tell the truth about someone.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions

How long is it polite to pretend to continue to listen to someone after they’ve revealed they’ve got a boyfriend?

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Communication

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.

(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director
Communication Reviews/Criticism

Elector: One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man’s choice.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Language

I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller,' he said 'Not you again.’

(1926 – 2012) Irish comedian & actor
Communication

The Sun has the class of a polyester shirt and the soul of a Colombian hit-man.

Communication Insults

Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Reading/Writing

A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication Entertainment Wordplay