Subject: Communication (Page 60)

Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Communication Situations

Too often the strong silent man is silent because he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong only because he has remained silent.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Communication Insults Speech

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Communication

Announce: Thirty grams or a sixteenth of a pound.

Definitions Wordplay

A critic is a man who knows the way but can’t drive the car.

(1927 – 1980) English theatre critic & writer
Communication Occupations Work

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Language Science/Weather

Yeah, I tried to see it from your point of view, but I couldn’t get my head that far up my ass.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Communication Insults

Reading isn’t an occupation we encourage among police officers; we try to keep the paperwork down to a minimum.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Communication Reading/Writing

Girdle: Accessory after the fat.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

Nothing conduces to brevity like a caving in of the knees.

(1809 – 1894) physician, professor, lecturer & author
Communication Reading/Writing

A lot of people are very critical of modern reproductive processes without understanding all the ins and outs.

(1940 – ) English professor, medical doctor, scientist & politician
Sex Wordplay

Every English poet should master the rules of grammar before he attempts to bend or break them.

(1895 – 1985) British author & classical scholar
Communication Reading/Writing

He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.

(1720 – 1777) British dramatist, actor & theatre manager
Communication Insults

Vagina?… that sounds like something you call in sick with.

American comedian & television host
Communication Health Language

If you substitute damn every time you’re inclined to write very your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Communication Misspokements Speech Time

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon… but it never really took off.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

I was at a party a couple of weeks ago, talking to this guy about the Gaza Strip; he thought it was the adhesive side of a maxi pad.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Conversation People Stupidity Things

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Communication Language

You're an old-timer if you can remember when setting the world on fire was a figure of speech.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Age Communication Language Old Speech World

If people don't sit at Chaplin's feet, he goes out and stands where they are sitting.

(1897 – 1953) American writer & producer
Communication