Subject: Communication (Page 60)

The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything.

(1826 – 1877) English economist & journalist
Books Communication Reading/Writing Wisdom

Slang: Language that takes off its coat, spits on its hands, and goes to work.

Communication Definitions Language

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Communication Insults Opinion

I type a 101 words a minute… but it's in my own language.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Language

I was going to join the debating team, but somebody talked me out of it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Activities Communication Speech

Who’s cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Ideas Intelligence Language

If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Books Communication Reading/Writing

There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, I know what I’m doing; just show me somebody naked.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Reading/Writing Sex

Through no fault of his own my uncle crashed his car into a lemon tree; he is still bitter and twisted.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

The chickens have come home to roast.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Wordplay

You can get away with anything as long as you tell someone about it.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

My neighbors don’t like it when I talk to my plants… I use a megaphone.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Communication Reading/Writing

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

Arms Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

How can there be self-help groups?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me, according to the letter.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Family Parents Reading/Writing School

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication Conversation Speech

My teacher used to say I wasn't very observant… to be honest, that was her opinion.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

America is a country of inventors, and the greatest of inventors are the newspaper men.

(1847 – 1922) Scottish scientist, inventor, engineer & innovator
Beliefs Communication Opinion Reading/Writing

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk; that will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist
Alcohol Communication Food/Drink Speech

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper; and half never voted for president… one hopes it is the same half.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Communication Elections/Voting Government Intelligence Reading/Writing