Subject: Communication (Page 60)

If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize winning photograph of him drowning, what shutter speed and setting would you use?

(1918 – 2009) radio broadcaster
Communication Reading/Writing

Corduroy pillows: They’re making headlines!

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Things Wordplay

They speak all the languages of the rainbow here.

Scottish auto racer
Communication Language Misspokements

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Communication Conflict Speech

People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist
Beliefs Communication Facts Reading/Writing

Electrocardiograph: Ticker tape.

Definitions Wordplay

Doing a book signing tomorrow at Barnes & Noble… bring your own book… I haven't written one yet.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Books Communication

Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Communication Insults Speech

Some people have a way with words, and other people… oh, uh, not have way.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Wordplay

A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Today’s subliminal thought is: …

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk; that will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist
Alcohol Communication Food/Drink Speech

No books are lost by loaning except those you particularly wanted to keep.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo Clinic.

(1941) American writer & humorist
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken.


Communication Speech

Today I held the elevator door open for a spastic… sorry that’s an inappropriate word for this site, I meant ‘lift.’

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

He uses a lot of big words, and his sentences are from here to the airport.

(1947 – ) American writer & populist political activist
Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

To avoid misunderstanding, I’ll stop speaking formal English and just use the binocular.

Communication Language Malaprops

Never in the ring of human conflict have so few taken so much from so many.

American boxer
Boxing Sports Wordplay

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Animals Communication Language

There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, I know what I’m doing; just show me somebody naked.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Reading/Writing Sex