Subject: Communication (Page 61)

A simple story, however inaccurate or misleading, is preferred to a complicated explanation, however true.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Communication Situations Speech

[Poker] as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you could find outside an advertising agency.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Activities Communication Games

Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately

Corollary: Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Old Science/Weather

As my mother always says, “If you have to swear to get laughs, then you’re obviously a c**t.”

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Communication Emotions Laughter Speech

I used to be a plastic surgeon, which raised a few eyebrows.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Occupations Wordplay Work

Plagiarism is the highest form of art just as theft is the highest form of commerce.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Communication

You will, Oscar, you will.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Communication Speech

She plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a channel swimmer, made her confident way towards the white cliffs of the obvious.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

Reading isn’t an occupation we encourage among police officers; we try to keep the paperwork down to a minimum.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Communication Reading/Writing

Just give me a shave… I haven’t time to listen to a haircut.

Communication Speech Time

Tact: The knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Communication Definitions

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language Time

Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Problems

When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible.

Education Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School

The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.

(1788 – 1860) German philosopher
Communication Reading/Writing

He knew the precise psychological moment when to say nothing.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Language Science/Weather

Egotist: A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Self

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Communication Wordplay