Subject: Communication (Page 62)

The difference between journalism and literature is that journalism is unreadable and literature is never read.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Insults Reading/Writing

A writer mustn’t shift your point of view.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Communication Life People Things

Don't abbrev.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Books Communication Health Reading/Writing

I used to have a speech impediment, but we got divorced.

(1926 – 1988) American cartoonist (The Lockhorns)
Communication Divorce Marriage Speech Wives

It is all very well to be able to write books, but can you waggle your ears?

(1860 – 1937) Scottish author, dramatist (creator of Peter Pan)
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

My piñata costume was a hit with the crowd

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

You know who really gives kids a bad name? … Posh and Becks.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Communication Wordplay

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; it was riveting.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

In the back of Hughes' mind must be the thought that he will dance down the piss and mitch one.


Sports Wordplay

People with Tourette’s… what makes them tick?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Health Wordplay

The loss of life will be irreplaceable.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Avoid fruit and nuts; you are what you eat.

(1945 –) American cartoonist (Garfield)
Eating Food/Drink Wordplay

His speeches left the impression of an army of pompous phrases moving over the landscape in search of an idea.

(1863 – 1941) U.S. senator (California) & U.S. Secretary of the Treasury
Communication Ideas Speech

Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Communication People Reading/Writing

Everything you read in newspapers is absolutely true, except for that rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge.

(1931–1994) American journalist
Communication Reading/Writing

Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.

Communication Definitions Science/Weather

Some people approach every problem with an open mouth.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Characteristics Communication Problems Speech