Subject: Communication (Page 62)

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech Time

Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

If you only read one book in your life… I highly recommend you keep your mouth shut.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

I wasn’t allowed to speak while my husband was alive, and since he’s gone no one has been able to shut me up.

(1885 – 1966) American actress & gossip columnist
Communication Speech

Physician: One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Health Language

Ya better keep a civilian tongue in your head.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication Malaprops Speech

I quit my job at the helium gas factory; I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech Work

Rock journalism is people who can’t write, interviewing people who can’t talk, in order to provide articles for people who can’t read.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

If you understand English, press 1; if you do not understand English, press 2.

Communication Language Misspokements

An encyclopedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order.

British writer, cartoonist, poet & performer
Books Communication

I went to [a bookstore] and asked the woman for a book about turtles; she said ‘hardback?’ and I was like, ‘yeah, and little heads.

British comedian
Books Communication Wordplay

A bore is a fellow talking who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Characteristics Communication People Speech

Corduroy pillows: They’re making headlines!

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Things Wordplay

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

Communication Fools Intelligence Proverbs Speech

Like I always say, there's no 'I' in "team;" there is a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."

(1959 – ) Canadian-born writer & television producer
Communication Language

I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.

Communication People Speech

It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Speech

Winston has devoted the best years of his life to preparing his impromptu speeches.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Insults Speech

My dad fought in World War II, and he never talks about it, of course – ’cause he’s Japanese.

comedian
Communication Family Fathers Places

Never argue with a man who buys his ink by the barrel.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Communication Situations

The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Communication Education Language Learning Places