Subject: Communication (Page 62)

If I rescued a child from drowning, the press would no doubt headline the story: ‘Benn Grabs Child.’

(1925 – ) British politician & peace activist
Communication

Composers shouldn't think too much—it interferes with their plagiarism.

(1896 – 1983) American actor
Communication Entertainment Music Reading/Writing

Anatomy: The belly of a very small insect.

Definitions Wordplay

There's always someone willing to disagree with me; but I'm the one who's called controversial.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Characteristics Communication

Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Communication Insults People

As through this world I've wandered I've seen lots of funny men; some will rob you with a six-gun, and some with a fountain pen.

(1912 – 1967) American singer-songwriter & folk musician
Communication Conflict Crime Reading/Writing

It’s better to be quotable than honest.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Communication

It was strange. The only English words I saw were Sony and Mitsubishi.

American baseball player
Baseball Communication Language Misspokements Sports

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Books Friends People Sex Sleep

As my mother always says, “If you have to swear to get laughs, then you’re obviously a c**t.”

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Communication Emotions Laughter Speech

Reoriented: Sent back to China.

Definitions Wordplay

Spontaneous speeches are seldom worth the paper they are written on.

(1891 – 1957) English comedian, actor, producer & film director
Communication Speech

Easy way to make someone sound less powerful, just put DJ in front of their name… DJ Abraham Lincoln.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket by the paper clip of the overlying correspondence and go to file.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Gossip: Hearing something you like about someone you don’t.

(1907 – 1987) journalist & columnist
Communication Speech

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice; for ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Communication Family Fathers Killing Mothers Speech

Reading isn’t an occupation we encourage among police officers; we try to keep the paperwork down to a minimum.

(1933 – 1967) English playwright
Communication Reading/Writing

Autobiography: An I-witness account

Books Communication Definitions People Self

A dying man enjoys free speech.

(1431 – 1463) French rogue, vagabond, outlaw, bohemian & poet
Communication Death Speech

I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller,' he said 'Not you again.’

(1926 – 2012) Irish comedian & actor
Communication

If you steal from one author it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many it’s research.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing