Subject: Communication (Page 64)

Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

Longfellow is to poetry what the barrel-organ is to music.

(1886 – 1963) literary critic, biographer & historian
Insults Music Reading/Writing

Four-letter Word: Par for the coarse.

Definitions Golf Language Sports

I'm still an atheist, thank God.

(1900 – 1983) Spanish filmmaker
Beliefs Religion Wordplay

Nothing but old fags and cabbage-stumps of quotations from the Bible and the rest, stewed in the juice of deliberate, journalistic dirty-mindedness.

(1885 – 1930) English novelist, poet, playwright, essayist, literary critic & painter
Communication Insults

If [the weather] didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t start a conversation.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Conversation People Science/Weather Speech

She’d complain if Jesus came down and handed her a $5 bill.

Characteristics Communication

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Activities Communication Dance Entertainment Music Speech

“Pickup artists” and “garbagemen” should switch names.

Occupations Wordplay Work

Composers shouldn't think too much—it interferes with their plagiarism.

(1896 – 1983) American actor
Communication Entertainment Music Reading/Writing

I usually get my stuff from people who promised somebody else that they would keep it a secret.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Communication Speech

When life gets you down, make a comforter.

American comedian
Communication Wordplay

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

(1904 – 1963) American journalist
Communication Reading/Writing

In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while the article is still on the presses.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
America Communication Reading/Writing

I drink therefore I am.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Wordplay

I am not going to speak much, otherwise I’ll again say something.

(1938 – 2010) Russian politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Communication Language Work

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilization.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication

Everything you read in newspapers is absolutely true, except for that rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge.

(1931–1994) American journalist
Communication Reading/Writing

If you are going to tell people the truth, be funny or they will kill you.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Communication Honesty Killing Truth

When I hear a baby, I always write down the noises he makes, so later I can ask him what he meant.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Communication Family