Subject: Communication (Page 64)

Remember… write to your congressman; even if he can’t read… write to him.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Intelligence Politicians Reading/Writing

I was at a party a couple of weeks ago, talking to this guy about the Gaza Strip; he thought it was the adhesive side of a maxi pad.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Conversation People Stupidity Things

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

All Englishmen talk as if they’ve got a bushel of plums stuck in their throats, and then after swallowing them get constipated from the pips.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
England Insults Places Speech

Don't use a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Never read any book in which the author’s name appears in gold or silver on the cover.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

She was just a passing fiancée.

Communication Wordplay

Research is reading two books that have never been read in order to write a third that will never be read.

Books Communication Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Let me ask you… would crack be so bad, and would people think so harshly of crack, if it were called 'crackle'?

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Activities Communication Drugs Language

She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Communication Reading/Writing

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

Arms Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

It may be the cock that crows, but it is the hen that lays the eggs.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Men People Speech Women

Outside of a dog, a book is your best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Animals Books Communication Dogs Intelligence Reading/Writing Relationships Situations

It’s the gossip columnist’s business to write about what is none of his business.

(1904 – 1980) American critic & author
Communication Occupations Work

But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

(1945 – ) football coach
Books Communication Insults Reading/Writing Sports

I was in a bookstore the other day and asked the woman behind the counter where the self-help section was; she said, “If I told you, that would defeat the whole purpose.”

comedian
Books Communication

Las Vegas is the oasis of outstretched palms.

English boxing journalist & commentator
Boxing Money Sports Wordplay

Democracy means government by discussion but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.

(1883 – 1967) British prime minister & politician
Communication Democracy Government Speech

Too often, people who want to offer sound advice give more sound than advice!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Intelligence Speech

Groan: An expression of appreciation for the horrible.

Communication Definitions Speech

Beware of the conversationalist who adds “in other words;” he is merely starting afresh.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Communication Conversation