Subject: Communication (Page 65)

If you don't say it, they can't repeat it.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Don't use a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you… but I’m not going to.

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Communication Conversation TV/Movie Quotes

Neither am I.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Books Communication Insults

Never say “Oops” always say “Ah, interesting!”

Communication Mistakes Problems Speech

Monument: A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

(1934 – 1982) English writer, comedian & actor
Reading/Writing Things

A dirty book is rarely dusty.

Books Communication Reading/Writing Sex

Freudian Slip: Foot-in-mouth disease.

Communication Definitions

There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, I know what I’m doing; just show me somebody naked.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Reading/Writing Sex

‘Finger Puppet’ sounds OK as a noun.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Language

Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Communication Reading/Writing

I never thought you could win a Pulitzer just for quoting Tommy Lasorda correctly.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Communication People Reading/Writing Self Sports

Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication Speech

If at first you don’t succeed, read the manual.

Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Yawn: It’s always dullest just before the yawn.

Definitions Wordplay

Bill wrote a book at Yale; I read one.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Books Communication Reading/Writing

When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.

(1899 – 1974) French screenwriter, teacher & journalist
Communication Situations Speech Time

I will not go down to posterity talking bad grammar.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Communication Language Last words

In honor of the late George Carlin, here are seven more words you can't say on TV: "And the Emmy goes to Bob Saget."

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Communication Entertainment Language Television