Subject: Communication (Page 70)

Announce: Thirty grams or a sixteenth of a pound.

Definitions Wordplay

The early bird gets the worm but the late worm gets to live.

comedian, writer & editor
Communication Wordplay

I just did a show at a country and western bar, and – this is true – I had been onstage, like, a minute and a half when I heard: 'Never come here again!' … and I thought, 'Oh my gosh, did I just say that out loud?'

stand-up comedian
Communication Entertainment Speech

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

(1906 – 1992) American computer programmer & inventor of COBOL
Characteristics Communication

I read the greens in Spanish, but putt in English.

(1935 – ) Puerto Rican professional golfer
Golf Language Sports

The older I grow the more I listen to people who don’t talk much.

Age Communication Old

A dirty book is rarely dusty.

Books Communication Reading/Writing Sex

We don’t want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Future Misspokements Past Speech

Everything has been said but not everyone has said it.

(1922 – 1998) U.S. Representative (Arizona) & politician
Communication Speech

If you miss one issue of any magazine, it will be the issue that contains the article, story or installment you were most anxious to read.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of wet toilet paper.

(1938 – ) film critic & former television co-host
Reviews/Criticism Speech

A chrysanthemum by any other name… would be easier to pronounce.

(1945 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Communication TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Government Language Politicians

When you talk to him, he looks at you and grins and grins and nods and nods and appears to be the world's best listener, until you realize he is not listening at all.

(1933 – ) television & radio host
Conversation People

It is all very well to be able to write books, but can you waggle your ears?

(1860 – 1937) Scottish author, dramatist (creator of Peter Pan)
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

It's not very often you get to see the Lone Ranger and Toronto in the same night.

baseball manager
Baseball Sports Wordplay

The first coherent line ever spoken was: ‘I have no idea what you're talking about.’

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Speech

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Communication Government

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication Conversation Insults Speech

If you only read one book in your life… I highly recommend you keep your mouth shut.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

Don't use a run-on sentence you got to punctuate it.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing