Subject: Communication (Page 70)

Siamese twins are interesting because they are the only people who can write a biography and an autobiography at the same time.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication People Reading/Writing

President Bush’s speech writer is leaving the administration; his last words were, "Me go now."

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Communication Speech

I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Places

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Books Children Reading/Writing

Be careful about reading health books for you may die of a misprint.

(1747 – 1803) German Jewish physician & lecturer on philosophy
Books Communication Death Health Reading/Writing

Sparky is the only guy I know who’s written more books than he has read.

baseball broadcaster
Misspokements Reading/Writing Sports

It was hard to have a conversation with anyone; there were so many people talking.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Communication Conversation Speech Yogi-isms

Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Intelligence Language People Thinking Women

Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

About as modest as Mussolini.

(1941 – ) American singer & songwriter
Communication

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Emotions Language Love

If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Animals Communication

Parents are embarrassed when their children tell lies, and even more embarrassed when they tell the truth.

Children Communication Family Honesty Lies Speech Truth

Exaggeration: Formal term for a collection of fishermen (i.e. an exaggeration of anglers).

Activities Definitions Language

Why do they call that funny little statue a bust when it stops right before the part of the body that it’s named after?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Art Communication Wordplay

I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't; so I grew hair under my arms instead.

stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Communication Hair Speech

Sometimes people come up to me and they'll be like, 'In Italy, it's pronounced 'Bir-Bee-Lya’ … and I'm like, 'In America, you're annoying.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Language People Self

I think they named the orange before the carrot.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication

They should call fishing what it really is… tricking and killing!

(1973 – ) American comedian
Activities Animals Language Sports

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Speech