Subject: Communication (Page 71)

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Communication Intelligence Stupidity Wisdom

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech; every now and then she stops to breathe.

(1893 – 1980) American singer, pianist, comedian & actor
Communication Speech

If I had known the difference between the words 'antidote' and 'anecdote,' one of my good friends would still be living.

comedian
Communication Death Health Language

Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Lies

What's the opposite of opposite?

(1980 – ) English comedian, television and radio presenter & actor
Communication Wordplay

Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.

Death Government Language Taxes

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.

(427 BC – 347 BC) Greek author & philosopher
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech Wisdom

Holland lies so low they're only saved by being dammed.

(1799 – 1845) English writer
Communication Language Places

If you substitute damn every time you’re inclined to write very your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

(1906 – 1965) psychologist & speech pathologist
Communication Language

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Books Friends People Sex Sleep

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?

comedian
Books Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

Never tell them what you wouldn't do.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Women should be obscene and not heard.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Language Speech Women

Actions speak louder than words — but not so often.

Communication

The greatest masterpiece in literature is only a dictionary out of order.

(1889 – 1963) French poet, novelist, playwright, artist & filmmaker
Books Communication

Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers; my opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them.


Communication Education Reading/Writing School

We did not conceive it possible that even Mr. Lincoln would produce a paper so slipshod, so loose-joined, so puerile, not alone in literary construction, but in its ideas, its sentiments, its grasp.

Reviews/Criticism Speech

Beauty is only sin deep.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Appearance Wordplay

I really wanted kids when I was in my early 20s but I could just never… lure them into my car; no, I'm kidding… I don’t have a license.

(1980 – ) Australian comedian
Children Communication Family Wordplay

There’s nothing to fear but life itself.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Fear Wordplay