Subject: Communication (Page 73)

Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.

(1897 – 1972) broadcast journalist & gossip columnist
Communication Speech

Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not a door?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Umm, trouble with grammar have I, yes?

Movie character in, Star Wars (Frank Oz)
Communication Language TV/Movie Quotes

Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me… it's gossip.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Communication Speech

Children always take the line of most persistence.

writer
Children Family Wordplay

Spilt Milk: Udder waste.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication Language Situations TV/Movie Quotes

“Pickup artists” and “garbagemen” should switch names.

Occupations Wordplay Work

I try to leave out the parts that people skip.

(1925 – ) novelist & screenwriter
Books Communication Reading/Writing

The early bird gets the worm but the late worm gets to live.

comedian, writer & editor
Communication Wordplay

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and she can’t say 'No' in any of them.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence Sex

The purpose of the communication is to advance the communicator.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Farmer: A handy man with a sense of humus.

Definitions Wordplay

Barber: The town cutup.

Definitions Wordplay

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Communication Reading/Writing

Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication Speech

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

Communication Language Money

Philanthropist: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Wealth

I keep reading between the lies.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Characteristics Language Lies Truth

As far as I'm concerned, "whom" is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Communication

Everybody lies; but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Characteristics Communication Honesty Lies Murphy’s Laws