Subject: Communication (Page 76)

You can say ‘Thanks,’ and you can say ‘Thanks a Million’ – but any number in between? … uhuh.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Communication

I went to [a bookstore] and asked the woman for a book about turtles; she said ‘hardback?’ and I was like, ‘yeah, and little heads.

British comedian
Books Communication Wordplay

Poets are literal-minded men who will squeeze a word till it hurts.

(1892 – 1982) American writer
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Vagina?… that sounds like something you call in sick with.

American comedian & television host
Communication Health Language

This is the best biography by me I have ever read.

(1903 – 1992) American bandleader & TV host
Books Communication Misspokements Reading/Writing

Like I always say, there's no 'I' in "team;" there is a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."

(1959 – ) Canadian-born writer & television producer
Communication Language

Actress: I enjoyed your book. Who wrote it for you?

Chase: I'm so glad you liked it. Who read it to you?

(1900 – 1978) American actress & novelist
Books Communication Insults Reading/Writing

Everything can be solved through civilized dialogue and implied agony.

online cartoonist
Communication Intelligence

Alphabet: A toy for children found in books, blocks, pictures, and some soup.

Communication Definitions Language

Nature was not content with denying him the ability to think, has endowed him with the ability to write.

(1859 – 1936) English classical scholar & poet
Communication Insults Intelligence

“I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.

(1979 – ) American stand-up comedian & author
Communication Relationships

Information is moving—you know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication Intelligence

It would be hard to be friends with Stephen Hawking because Stephen Hawking, you know, sounds like a robot and if you phoned him and he answered, you'd be like, 'Oh great, got the machine again' – and hang up.

Canadian comedian & actor
Communication Situations Speech

You know who really gives kids a bad name? … Posh and Becks.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Communication Wordplay

Where there's a will, there's an inheritance tax.

Death Government Language Taxes

My husband asked me to talk dirty to him during sex; I told him to go f**k himself.


Communication Sex Speech

Abstinence makes the heart go wander.

Sex Wordplay

You have to wonder what kind of chemical reactions were taking place inside Walker’s head when he said these things.

(1923 – ) English motorsport commentator
Auto racing Misspokements Speech Sports

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

When I was 10, my pa told me never to talk to strangers; we haven’t spoken since.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Family Fathers People Speech