Subject: Communication (Page 76)

I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences.

comedian
Communication Marriage Speech

Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers; my opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them.


Communication Education Reading/Writing School

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Communication Emotions Love Speech

Is ‘tired old cliche’ one?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Calvin Coolidge didn’t say much, and when he did, he didn’t say much.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Insults Intelligence Speech

What's right is what's left when everything is wrong.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Beliefs Language Opinion

I like when good things happen to me, but I wait two weeks to tell anyone because I like to use the word ‘fortnight.’

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language Time

If you don't say it, they can't repeat it.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Entertainment Life Reading/Writing

During an election campaign the air is full of speeches and vice versa.

(1838 – 1918) journalist, historian, academic & novelist
Communication Elections/Voting Government Speech

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Sex Wordplay

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Communication Education Ideas Insults Intelligence Speech

Rattlesnake: Tattle tail.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?

comedian
Books Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

Interpreter: A ventriloquist using two dummies.

Communication Definitions Language

I don’t have any children but if I had a baby I would have to name it so I’d buy a “baby naming book” … or I would invite somebody over who had a cast on.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Books Children Family

If I wanted you to know what I’m thinking, I’d be talking.

(1946 – ) American actor
Communication Speech TV/Movie Quotes

Having something to say is overrated.

American writer
Beliefs Communication Opinion

The only time I talk on the golf course is to my caddie. And then only to complain when he gives me the wrong club.

Spanish professional golfer
Communication Speech Sports

A day without sunshine is like, you know… night.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Wordplay