Subject: Communication (Page 76)

I think they named the orange before the carrot.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication

Tact: The knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Communication Definitions

What's right is what's left when everything is wrong.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Beliefs Language Opinion

She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Communication Reading/Writing

A critic is a gong at a railroad crossing clanging loudly and vainly as the train goes by.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Communication

If [the weather] didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t start a conversation.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Conversation People Science/Weather Speech

The less you say, the less you have to take back.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Castration: A eunuch experience.

Definitions Wordplay

Remember… write to your congressman; even if he can’t read… write to him.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Communication Intelligence Politicians Reading/Writing

Avant-garde? … That’s French for bullshit.

(1940 – 1980) English rock musician, singer & songwriter
Communication Language

Ordering a man to write a poem is like commanding a pregnant woman to give birth to a red-headed child.

Carl Sandburg (1878 – 1967) biographer & poet
Communication Men People Reading/Writing Women

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech Time

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, Creep.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Communication

Good things don’t end in ‘eum,’ they end in ‘mania’…or ‘teria’.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Communication Language TV/Movie Quotes

Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic person and say, "Who do you think you are?"

(1956 – 1996) American comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Communication Reading/Writing

I’m writing my book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy who told somebody …”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Reading/Writing

Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Children Communication Misspokements Mothers

I hate Twitter… it’s like a state surveillance agency staffed by gullible volunteers.

(1968 – ) English comedian, writer, director & musician
Communication

He is a man of his most recent word.

(1925 – 2008) American conservative author, commentator & television host
Beliefs Communication Opinion