Subject: Communication (Page 77)

Once you overcome your fear of public speaking, you’ll never be asked to speak again.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

If I could drop dead right now, I’d be the happiest man alive.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Death Happiness Misspokements Speech

What's that up the road? … a head?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer
Characteristics Communication Speech

All really grim gardeners possess a keen sense of humus.

(1898 – 1951) Scottish humorist
Activities Wordplay

Book: What they make a movie out of for television.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Books Communication Definitions

Join clauses good like a conjunction should.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Teetotaler: One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions Wordplay

Never in the ring of human conflict have so few taken so much from so many.

American boxer
Boxing Sports Wordplay

I don’t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Language People

Through no fault of his own my uncle crashed his car into a lemon tree; he is still bitter and twisted.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Communication Reading/Writing

She's generous to a fault… if it's her own.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Characteristics Communication

I don’t think I got the job at Microsoft™… they didn’t respond to my telegram.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Work

As soon as you dispose of a book, even one that has gathered dust for years, a pressing need to refer to it will arise.

Books Murphy’s Laws Time

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Old Science/Weather

Does it disturb anyone else that “The Los Angeles Angels” baseball team translates directly to “The The Angels Angels”?

(1958 – ) American astrophysicist, cosmologist, author & science communicator
Communication

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg; it seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Beliefs Communication Opinion Speech

Why are they called apartments when they’re all stuck together?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Communication Wordplay