Subject: Communication (Page 77)

Authors with a mortgage never get writer’s block.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Communication Reading/Writing

In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.

cartoon character, Peanuts, Charles Schulz (1922 – 2000) cartoonist
Books Life

Violinist: A high-strung musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

I wonder what the word for dots looks like in Braille.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Communication Dating Language Speech

Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.

Communication Definitions

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Communication Entertainment Language

I will not go down to posterity talking bad grammar.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Communication Language Last words

There are four kinds of people: those who sit quietly and do nothing, those who talk about sitting quietly and doing nothing, those who do things, and those who talk about doing things.

Communication Murphy’s Laws People Speech

"No comment" is a comment.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication

I hate to spread rumors, but what else can one do with them?

French model, singer, lyricist, painter, television presenter & actress
Communication

Alcatraz: A pen with a lifetime guarantee.

Definitions Wordplay

The baby wakes up in the wee wee hours of the morning.

Children Family Wordplay

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

Seven days without laughter makes one weak.


Emotions Laughter Wordplay

He has left off reading altogether, to the great improvement of his originality.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing

If you don't know what a mammogram is, it is not a woman with big breasts who works for Western Union.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Communication Language

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Communication Wordplay

This report, by its very length, defends itself against being read.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Communication Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages.

(1909 – 1998) U.S. senator (Arizona)
Communication Insults Speech

Two old maids on a beach, streaker ran past… one had a stroke, the other one couldn't reach.

(1930 – 2007) English comedian & nightclub owner
Miscellaneous Wordplay