Subject: Communication (Page 78)

Women speak two languages – one of which is verbal.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Communication Language People Women

A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.

(1907 – 1973) poet & critic
Situations Sleep Speech

Siamese twins are interesting because they are the only people who can write a biography and an autobiography at the same time.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication People Reading/Writing

There are three golden rules for parliamentary speakers: “Stand up. Speak up. Shut up.”

(1855 – 1949) British politician
Communication England Places Speech

You will, Oscar, you will.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Communication Speech

The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Conflict War

Most people tire of a lecture in ten minutes; clever people can do it in five; sensible people never go to lectures at all.

(1869 – 1944) Canadian economist & humorist
Communication Speech

A pin has as much head as some authors and a good deal more point.

(1802 – 1870) American writer & editor
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men, and I just want to say to the authors of that study "Duh."

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Communication Language Men People Women

Soft as church music.

(1956 – ) born Daniel Patrick Pugh, American sportscaster & radio personality
Communication

Realtor: A man with lots to sell.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

Out of the mouths of babes comes cereal.

Children Family Wordplay

Having imagination it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that if you were unimaginative would take you only a minute.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Communication Intelligence Reading/Writing Time

Public speaking is very easy.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication Speech

About the only thing you can say for his constipation of ideas is his diarrhea of words.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Communication Ideas Insults Intelligence Speech

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be and when I called someone they went “Aaaaahhhh…”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Things

When you are right, be logical; when you are wrong, be-fuddle.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.

(1899 – 1974) French screenwriter, teacher & journalist
Communication Situations Speech Time

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Communication History People Reading/Writing Time Women

How is it possible to have a civil war?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict War Wordplay

Oh, if I could piss the way he speaks!

(1841 – 1929) French statesman, physician & journalist
Insults Speech