Subject: Communication (Page 79)

If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Communication Definitions Language

Definition of a classic: a book everyone is assumed to have read and often thinks they have.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Books Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Reading him is like wading through glue.

(1809 – 1892) Poet Laureate of the United Kingdom
Insults Reading/Writing

She was another of his near Mrs.

Communication Language Marriage Relationships Wordplay

I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it – if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

American actor & comedian
Food/Drink Sex Speech Women

I am being frank about myself in this book; I tell of my first mistake on page 850.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Books Communication People Self

Like playing Beethoven on the kazoo.

(1938 – ) English academic, newspaper columnist & author
Communication Reading/Writing

The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can’t help it.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Communication Reading/Writing

I love being a writer; what I can't stand is the paperwork.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Communication Reading/Writing

Writing a book of poetry is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Books Communication

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

(1911 – 1978) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Intelligence Opinion

If Miss means respectably unmarried, and Mrs. respectably married, then Ms. means nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

(1940 – 1992) English writer
Language Marriage Sex

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?


Communication Language Things

To write an autobiography of Groucho Marx would be as asinine as to read an autobiography of Groucho Marx.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Two percent don’’t get the word.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

Dyselxics Have More Nuf.

Communication Health Language

A woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hinter legs; it is not done well; but you are surprised to see it done at all.

(1740 – 1795) Scottish lawyer, diarist & author
Communication People Speech Women

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Communication Misspokements Speech Time

One could not even dignify him with the name of a stuffed shirt; he was simply a hole on the air.

Eric Arthur Blair (1903 – 50) English author & journalist
Communication Insults

Just the omission of Jane Austen’s books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn’t a book in it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Books Communication Reviews/Criticism

I believe in the right to arm bears.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Beliefs Opinion Wordplay