Subject: Communication (Page 80)

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.

(1888 – 1957) English priest & theologian
Communication

A classic is a book which people praise, but no one reads.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Books Communication Reading/Writing

I can tell I’m getting old because my Kindle is turning into a self-help library.

(1982 – ) American actress, stand-up comedian & writer
Age Books Old Reading/Writing

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Happiness Language People

NOKIA – connocting poopie [sic]

Communication Translations

There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 a.m… it could be the right number.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Communication Time

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Communication Death Hair Time

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don’t know anything and can’t read.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Government Intelligence People Reading/Writing

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.

(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director
Communication Reviews/Criticism

I am the most spontaneous speaker in the world because every word, every gesture, and every retort has been carefully rehearsed.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication Speech

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Communication Intelligence Speech

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Communication Language

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Old Science/Weather

I used to be a plastic surgeon, which raised a few eyebrows.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Occupations Wordplay Work

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain… and most fools do.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Communication Fools Intelligence

It’s a very good historical book about history.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Books Communication Misspokements Reading/Writing

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as ‘4’s’?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Like I always say, there's no 'I' in "team;" there is a 'me', though, if you jumble it up."

(1959 – ) Canadian-born writer & television producer
Communication Language

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Communication Language Work

I speak with more passion on a full bladder.

(1912 – 1998) British politician
Communication Speech

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

(1904 – 1999) author, editor, radio host
Communication Language