Subject: Communication (Page 80)

I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Art Communication Entertainment

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Communication Death Hair Time

Consult: To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

No speech can be entirely bad if it is short enough.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication Speech Time

The first man to compare the cheeks of a young woman to a rose was obviously a poet; the first to repeat it was possibly an idiot.

(1904 – 1989) Spanish surrealist painter
Fools Intelligence Language

I was a young lad living under a poker table with a chip on my shoulder.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

In a relationship you have to communicate, which means listening to her talk… ladies, you fake orgasms… we fake listening.

(1962 – ) American comedian & actor
Communication Men People Relationships Women

If you steal from one author it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many it’s research.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

1. All's well that ends.
2. A penny saved is a penny.
3. Don't leave things unfinishe

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws

The Internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Communication

The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Mistakes People Self Speech

An argument is two people trying to get in the last word first.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Conversation Speech

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
Communication Individuals People

If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?


Communication Language Things

NOKIA – connocting poopie [sic]

Communication Translations

I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Books Communication People Reading/Writing Self

I think if you were hardcore anti-feminism, surely you wouldn’t call yourself ‘anti-feminism’ would you? … you’d call yourself ‘Uncle Feminism’.

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

Barber: The town cutup.

Definitions Wordplay

Ambidextrous: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language

You can get away with anything as long as you tell someone about it.

Communication Murphy’s Laws

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Books Communication Memory Reading/Writing