Subject: Communication (Page 81)

Ninety-two percent of the stuff told you in confidence you couldn't get anyone else to listen to.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Communication Conversation Speech

The difference between fiction and reality… fiction has to make sense.

(1947 – ) American author
Books Communication

Our language is funny – a fat chance and slim chance are the same thing.

Communication Language

If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Books Communication Reading/Writing

I am a bear of very little brain, and long words bother me.

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Entertainment Life Reading/Writing

… my last will and tentacle…

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Communication

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

(1965 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Communication People Self Speech

She stopped the show – but then the show wasn't traveling very fast.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Communication Entertainment Reviews/Criticism

Reading is an escape, an education, a delving into the brain of another human being on such an intimate level that every nuance of thought, every snapping of synapse, every slippery desire of the author is laid open before you… like, well… a book.

American playwright, television writer & author
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while they're alive.

(1871 – 1951) American artist
Communication Death Life People

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be and when I called someone they went “Aaaaahhhh…”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Things

I don’t mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don’t understand.

(1892 – 1965) English physicist
Communication Entertainment Language Music Understanding

Tabloid: A screamlined newspaper.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

My wife said: ‘I want an explanation and I want the truth.’ I said: ‘Make up your mind.’

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Communication Honesty Marriage Truth Wives

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication England People Places Speech

I really wanted kids when I was in my early 20s but I could just never… lure them into my car; no, I'm kidding… I don’t have a license.

(1980 – ) Australian comedian
Children Communication Family Wordplay

Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me… it's gossip.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Communication Speech

Did I already tell you my Alzheimer's joke?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men, and I just want to say to the authors of that study "Duh."

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Communication Language Men People Women