Subject: Communication (Page 81)

A gossip columnist is someone who uses dirt to make a mountain out of a molehill.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication

The chickens have come home to roast.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Wordplay

Will you take this woman to be your awful wedded wife?

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Communication Marriage Wordplay

That's not writing, that's typing.

(1924 – 1984) American author
Communication Insults Reading/Writing

If the converse of a statement is absurd, the original statement is an insult to the intelligence and should never have been said.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech

If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth.

(1928 – ) American psychologist & advice columnist
Communication Reading/Writing Time

Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Communication People

A day without sunshine is like, you know… night.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Wordplay

The president of France said that the English are arrogant with their refusal to learn foreign languages; at least, I think that’s what he said… it all just sounded like “haw-he-haw-he-haw-he-haw.”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication England Language Places

A clever remark is one you don’t make at the appropriate moment, but compose immediately after.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two.

Communication Wordplay

Listening to a speech by Chamberlain is like paying a visit to Woolworth's; everything in its place and nothing above sixpence.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Insults Speech

The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Language Past Time

Spent the last 3 days, alone, trying to learn escapology… I need to get out more.

(1980 – ) English magician & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

If you haven’t struck oil in twenty minutes, quit boring.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language

An intelligent person can make a dumber statement than an idiot. The idiot is limited to his imbecility.

Communication Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech

It was a dark and stormy night…

(1803 – 1873) English writer
Communication Reading/Writing

On the TV screen, pure drivel tends to drive off ordinary drivel.

Communication Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech Television

To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
America Communication Situations

Just the omission of Jane Austen’s books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn’t a book in it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Books Communication Reviews/Criticism