Subject: Communication (Page 83)

Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?

Communication Men Speech Women

At school the other kids used to push me around and call me lazy; I loved that wheelchair.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

If you want your name spelled wrong, die.

Communication Death Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.

(1908 – 1965) American broadcast journalist & newscaster
Communication Intelligence Speech Wisdom World

A rule of thumb in the matter of medical advice is to take everything any doctor says with a grain of aspirin.


Doctors Health Wordplay

People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.

British stand-up comedian
Communication Things Wordplay

When someone tells me they're from Switzerland I think, that's a red flag.

Comedian & writer
Communication Wordplay

There are very few people at the Fringe these days doing Roman-numeral jokes; I is one.

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

I'm writing a book… I have all the page numbers down, now I just have to fill in the rest.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Books Communication Reading/Writing

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that’s read by persons who move their lips when they’re reading to themselves.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Communication Reading/Writing

On the TV screen, pure drivel tends to drive off ordinary drivel.

Communication Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech Television

You won't find a single four-letter word in there… I don't go for that bullshit.

(1918 – ) American baseball pitcher
Baseball Books Communication Sports

No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Communication People

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Communication Language Work

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Animals Language

How much would you charge to haunt a house?

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance Communication

I don’t mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don’t understand.

(1892 – 1965) English physicist
Communication Entertainment Language Music Understanding

German in the most extravagantly ugly language – it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.

(1937 – 1996) English cartoonist, satirist, comedian & actor
Communication Insults Language

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Communication Language Truth

Invitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

writer
Communication Wordplay

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Intelligence Speech Thinking