Subject: Communication (Page 84)

When a letter simply addressed to "Duffy the Dope" was delivered to me, I knew it was time to retire.

(1915 – 1987) American football player and coach
Communication People Self Work

Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Communication Honesty Truth

The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can’t help it.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Communication Reading/Writing

Neither am I.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Books Communication Insults

All of ‘em, any of ‘em that have been in front of me over all these years.

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Communication Misspokements

I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

I hate going to funerals because I’m not a mourning person.

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Communication Death Wordplay

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Entertainment Television Wordplay

A day without sunshine is like, you know… night.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Wordplay

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English?… it means liar.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Communication Language Science/Weather

Obesity is really widespread.

Appearance Fat Wordplay

The politician is an acrobat; he keeps his balance by doing the opposite of what he says.

(1862 – 1923) French writer & politician
Communication Government Politicians

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Communication Language

Why's God always got such wacky shit to say?… when's the last time you heard somebody say, 'God told me to get a muffin and a cup of tea and cool out, man.'

American comedian & actor
Beliefs Communication God Speech

I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Communication

Today’s public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can’t read them either.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Communication Reading/Writing Speech Success

This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar;’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.

(1887 – 1964) British actor, writer & theater director
Communication Language Speech

Names were not so much dropped as thrown in a perpetual game of catch.

(1908 – 1992) English actor
Communication

The chickens have come home to roast.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Wordplay

If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Communication Money Speech