Subject: Communication (Page 85)

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Entertainment Television Wordplay

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Occupations Work

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Communication

She was a bilingual illiterate… she couldn't read in two different languages.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Freudian Slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.

Communication Definitions

He uses a lot of big words, and his sentences are from here to the airport.

(1947 – ) American writer & populist political activist
Reading/Writing Reviews/Criticism

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Books Communication Emotions Love Marriage Reading/Writing

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary.

web cartoonist (Sheldon)
Communication Language

Perhaps we could have a translation, I could not quite follow.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister
Communication Government

One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Books Communication Reading/Writing

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
Corollary: Corresponding errors will show up in the duplicate while the boss is reading it.

Communication Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems

I am not so think as you drunk I am.

(1884 – 1958) British poet, writer, historian & literary editor
Alcohol Food/Drink Wordplay

How long is it polite to pretend to continue to listen to someone after they’ve revealed they’ve got a boyfriend?

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Characteristics Communication

Praise does wonders for our sense of hearing.

(1905 –1998) American author
Beliefs Communication Opinion

Alas: Early Victorian for, “Oh, Hell.”

Communication Definitions Language

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Characteristics Communication

Something very sad about the fact that I haven’t read Moby Dick, but I have read the Kindergarten Cop Wikipedia page.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor
Communication Education Reading/Writing

My handwriting looks as if a swarm of ants, escaping from an ink bottle, had walked over a sheet of paper without wiping their legs.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Communication People Reading/Writing Self

A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Age Reading/Writing

Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Communication Speech