Subject: Communication (Page 85)

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics Communication Money Speech

Gigolo: A fee-male.

Definitions Wordplay

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like “What about lunch?”

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Communication Eating Language People Speech

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech; every now and then she stops to breathe.

(1893 – 1980) American singer, pianist, comedian & actor
Communication Speech

A poet can survive anything but a misprint.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Language Reading/Writing

Novel: A short story padded.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Books Communication

For exiled Iranian writers, the closest thing we have to a literary award is a fatwah.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian
Communication

The book or periodical most vital to the completion of your term paper will be missing from the library.

Corollary: If it is available, the most important page will be torn out.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing School

The chickens have come home to roast.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Wordplay

Through no fault of his own my uncle crashed his car into a lemon tree; he is still bitter and twisted.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Peeping Tom: A window fan.

Definitions Wordplay

Gossip: Anything that goes in one ear and over the back fence.

Communication Definitions Speech

Is there another word for synonym?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Communication Language

I’ve never read an article of clothing.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Reading/Writing

Twitter makes you like people you don’t know, and Facebook makes you hate people you do

Communication Murphy’s Laws

I had a job drilling holes for water… it was well, boring.


Communication Wordplay

A neurotic can perfectly well be a literary genius, but his greatest danger is always that he will not recognize when he is dull.

(1917 – 2010) American lawyer, novelist, historian & essayist
Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing

German in the most extravagantly ugly language – it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.

(1937 – 1996) English cartoonist, satirist, comedian & actor
Communication Insults Language

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

William Sydney Porter (1862 – 1910) American writer
Communication Elections/Voting

Holy deadlock.

(1890 – 1971) English humorist, novelist & playwright
Marriage Wordplay

Show me an archaeologist, and I’ll show you a man who practices skull drudgery.

Science/Weather Wordplay