Subject: Communication (Page 85)

Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.

(1927 – 2007) American newspaper columnist
Books Communication Eating Food/Drink Reading/Writing Sex

I just did a show at a country and western bar, and – this is true – I had been onstage, like, a minute and a half when I heard: 'Never come here again!' … and I thought, 'Oh my gosh, did I just say that out loud?'

stand-up comedian
Communication Entertainment Speech

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

Communication Health Language Reading/Writing

The sumptuousnss of a company's annual report is in inverse proportion to its profitability that year.

Books Communication Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

The only thing I said to my parents when I was a teenager was “Hang up, I got it!”

comedian, writer, actor & producer
Age Children Communication Family Parents Speech Young

Youth is stranger than fiction.

writer
Children Family Wordplay

I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Discriminate: To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language People

If [the weather] didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t start a conversation.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Conversation People Science/Weather Speech

I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences.

comedian
Communication Marriage Speech

Don’t say yes until I finish talking.

(1902 – 1979) American film studio executive & producer
Characteristics Communication

I want to write a mystery novel… or do I?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Reading/Writing

Coffee: Break fluid.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel.

Communication Military

A rumor is one thing that gets thicker instead of thinner as it is spread.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
Communication

Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer.

(1954 – ) English comedian writer
Communication Computers Things

Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.

Communication Definitions Science/Weather

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Beliefs Communication

I will be so brief I have already finished.

(1904 – 1989) Spanish surrealist painter
Communication Speech

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Communication

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.

(1888 – 1957) English priest & theologian
Communication