Subject: Communication (Page 86)

So I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck, turns out I phoned dial-a-lama.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

A beginning, a muddle, and an end.

(1922 – 1985) English poet & novelist
Communication Reading/Writing

Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not a door?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Actions speak louder than words — but not so often.

Communication

She takes everything I say out of contest.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Communication Malaprops

An autobiography usually reveals nothing bad about its writer except his memory.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Books Communication Memory Reading/Writing

There comes a time in every man’s life… and I’ve had many of them.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Communication Death Misspokements Speech Time

English painter & sculptor Frederic Leighton to James McNeill Whistler: My dear Whistler, you leave your pictures in such a sketchy, unfinished state. Why don't you ever finish them?

Whistler’s reply: My dear Leighton, why do you ever begin yours?

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Communication Entertainment Insults

Sex Education: Sermon on the mount.

Definitions Sex Wordplay

What orators lack in depth they make up for in length.

Communication Speech

Sometimes people come up to me and they'll be like, 'In Italy, it's pronounced 'Bir-Bee-Lya’ … and I'm like, 'In America, you're annoying.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Language People Self