Subject: Communication (Page 86)

I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General

I believe in talking behind peoples’ backs; that way, they hear it more than once.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

The man who says "I may be wrong, but… " does not believe there can be any such possibility.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist

Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome; it started off badly, but by the end I really liked it.

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter

I think that people who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

A lot of people are very critical of modern reproductive processes without understanding all the ins and outs.

(1940 – ) English professor, medical doctor, scientist & politician

Cat: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Anyone who says, 'You had to be there,' should just not have told you the thing in the first place because it's not funny.

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian