Subject: Communication (Page 9)

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Communication Murphy’s Laws

The penis mightier than the sword.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Wordplay

If I repeatedly stab my cornflakes does that make me a cereal killer?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Economists are still trying to figure out why the girls with the least principle draw the most interest.

Girls People Wordplay

Anyone who says, 'You had to be there,' should just not have told you the thing in the first place because it's not funny.

(1968 – ) American actor & comedian
Communication Laughter Situations

I drink therefore I am.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Wordplay

I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller,' he said 'Not you again.’

(1926 – 2012) Irish comedian & actor
Communication

My dad suggested I register for a donor card; he’s a man after my own heart.


Communication Wordplay

No speech can be entirely bad if it is short enough.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Communication Speech Time

Then, of course, there's that old one: Never use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

I don't speak German, he don't speak English, and I think I just agreed to marry his daughter.

American football player & coach
Communication Football Language Sports

In Australia, not reading poetry is the national pastime.

(1905 – 1978) American author of children’s books & poetry
Communication People Places Reading/Writing

The best way to become a successful writer is to read good writing, remember it, and then forget where you remember it from.

(1890 – 1960) journalist, author & dramatist
Communication Reading/Writing

Hector Torres, how can you communicate with Enzo Hernandez when he speaks Spanish and you speak Mexican?

(1924 – 2014) American baseball player & announcer
Communication Language Misspokements

Before I start speaking, I'd like to say something.

Misspokements Speech

Hey, if anyone knows how to fix some broken hinges, my door’s always open.

(1987 – ) British comedian
Communication Things Wordplay

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

(1906 – 1992) American computer programmer & inventor of COBOL
Characteristics Communication

Everything I’ve ever said will be credited to Dorothy Parker.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Communication

Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Reading/Writing

Writing is turning one’s worst moments into money.

(1926 – ) Irish American novelist & playwright
Communication Reading/Writing

I used to think 'Tora! Tora! Tora!' was about a Rabbi taking inventory.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
Beliefs Books Communication Reading/Writing Religion