Subject: Communication » Speech (Page 10)

Oratory: The art of making deep noises from the chest sound like important messages from the brain.

Communication Definitions Speech

Most wives are like ventriloquists: they stand there nodding while the dummy does all the talking.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Ninety-two percent of the stuff told you in confidence you couldn't get anyone else to listen to.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Communication Conversation Speech

Speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin.

Voice in the back: Begin at the ninth.

Communication Miscellaneous Speech

When he was vice president and Reagan would be talking, it was so funny 'cause you could catch Bush sitting behind Reagan, looking at him like your dog looks at your answering machine when your voice is coming out.

(1955 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & impressionist
Communication Government Speech

There's nothing wrong with you that a vasectomy of the vocal cords wouldn't fix.

(1944 – ) American author & novelist
Communication Insults Speech

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence to never practice either of them.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
America Communication Language Places Speech

The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

Communication Conversation Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People Speech

Congress is so strange; a man gets up to speak and says nothing – nobody listens—and then everybody disagrees.

(1898 – 1967) Russian writer
Communication Congress Government Speech

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like “What about lunch?”

fictional character from the book series by A. A. Milne
Communication Eating Language People Speech

The most beautiful words in the English language are not “I love you,” but … “benign.”

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Health Speech

As my mother always says, “If you have to swear to get laughs, then you’re obviously a c**t.”

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Communication Emotions Laughter Speech

If there are any of you at the back who do not hear me, please don't raise your hands because I am also nearsighted.


(1907 – 1973) poet & critic
Communication People Self Speech

I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking; but I strongly object when they start shaking them to make certain they are still going.

(1883 – 1962) British barrister, judge, politician & preacher
Communication Speech Time

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Communication Democracy Language Speech

Public speaking is very easy.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Communication Speech

Let’s bring it up to date with some snappy nineteenth century dialogue.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Misspokements Speech

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.

(427 BC – 347 BC) Greek author & philosopher
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech Wisdom

I have opinions of my own – strong opinions – but I don’t always agree with them.

(1924 – 2018) 41st U.S. president
Communication Misspokements Opinion Speech

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Marriage Money Speech