Subject: Communication » Speech (Page 12)

Most wives are like ventriloquists: they stand there nodding while the dummy does all the talking.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

Don’t bother discussing sex with small children… they rarely have anything to add.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Children Communication Conversation Family Sex Speech

Why is it that when anything goes without saying, it never does?

writer
Communication Speech

About the only thing you can say for his constipation of ideas is his diarrhea of words.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Communication Ideas Insults Intelligence Speech

Woman: I've made a bet with a friend that I can get you to say at least three words this evening. What do you say to that?

Coolidge’s reply: You lose.

(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president
Communication Speech

You will, Oscar, you will.

(1834 – 1903) American-born, British-based artist
Communication Speech

Blurt: To speak the truth.

Definitions Speech

Loquacity: A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Conversation Definitions Language Speech

I used to have a speech impediment, but we got divorced.

(1926 – 1988) American cartoonist (The Lockhorns)
Communication Divorce Marriage Speech Wives

There's nothing wrong with you that a vasectomy of the vocal cords wouldn't fix.

(1944 – ) American author & novelist
Communication Insults Speech

My friend has a baby; I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

A bore is a fellow talking who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Characteristics Communication People Speech

The mediocrity of his thinking is concealed by the majesty of his language.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Communication Speech

I think Nancy does most of his talking; you'll notice that she never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Communication Insults Speech

Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic person and say, "Who do you think you are?"

(1956 – 1996) American comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

My theory [is] that modern science was largely conceived of as an answer to the servant problem and that it is generally practiced by those who lack a flair for conversation.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Science/Weather Speech

It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment; it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Misspokements Speech

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Communication Education Ideas Insults Intelligence Speech

Say what you want about the deaf…

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication People Speech

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

Communication Marriage Speech Wives

1. When in charge ponder
2. When in trouble delegate
3. When in doubt mumble.

Murphy’s Laws Speech