Subject: Communication » Speech (Page 14)

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

My husband asked me to talk dirty to him during sex; I told him to go f**k himself.


Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine, so that I may wet my mind and say something clever.

(450 BC – 388 BC) Greek Athenian comic playwright

When angry count four; when very angry, swear.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

We need a twelve-step group for compulsive talkers; they could call it On Anon Anon.

(1959 – ) American comedian

Outspoken? By whom?

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

Some people talk in their sleep; lecturers talk while other people sleep.

(1913 – 1960) French-Algerian author, philosopher & journalist

You want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist

A lot of people think kids say the darnedest things, but so would you if you had no education.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker

The freedom of the press works in such a way that there is not much freedom from it.

(1929 – 1982) American actress & princess of Monaco

On the TV screen, pure drivel tends to drive off ordinary drivel.

Never say “Oops” always say “Ah, interesting!”

Include me out.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

The future will be better tomorrow.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician

Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.

(1899 – 1995) humorist

A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist

You might be a redneck if… your child’s first words are “Attention Kmart shoppers!

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech; every now and then she stops to breathe.

(1893 – 1980) American singer, pianist, comedian & actor