Subject: Communication » Speech (Page 2)

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.


Communication Speech

Let’s bring it up to date with some snappy nineteenth century dialogue.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Misspokements Speech

Say what you want about the deaf…

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication People Speech

I would worship the ground you walk on, Audrey, if you only lived in a better neighborhood.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Characteristics Speech

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress.

(1923 – ) American journalist & gossip columnist
Communication Speech

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice; for ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Communication Family Fathers Killing Mothers Speech

I haven't spoken to my wife in years; I didn't want to interrupt her.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

My neighbors don’t like it when I talk to my plants… I use a megaphone.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

I just did a show at a country and western bar, and – this is true – I had been onstage, like, a minute and a half when I heard: 'Never come here again!' … and I thought, 'Oh my gosh, did I just say that out loud?'

stand-up comedian
Communication Entertainment Speech

When a person says that, in the interest of saving time, he will summarize his prepared statement, he will talk only three times as long as if he had read the statement in the first place.

Communication Murphy’s Laws Speech Time

Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.

(85–43 BC) Latin writer
Communication Fools Intelligence Speech

Last time I called shotgun we had rented a limo, so I messed up!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Autos Speech Things

When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.

(1899 – 1974) French screenwriter, teacher & journalist
Communication Situations Speech Time

Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Communication Intelligence Speech

A dying man enjoys free speech.

(1431 – 1463) French rogue, vagabond, outlaw, bohemian & poet
Communication Death Speech

Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95/minute?

Communication Men Speech Women

As my mother always says, “If you have to swear to get laughs, then you’re obviously a c**t.”

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Communication Emotions Laughter Speech

You break into my house… my wife will shoot you, and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Arms Speech Things

Before I start speaking, I'd like to say something.

Misspokements Speech

If Lincoln were alive today, he’d roll over in his grave.

(1913 – 2006) 36th U.S. president
Communication Misspokements Speech

Congress is so strange; a man gets up to speak and says nothing – nobody listens—and then everybody disagrees.

(1898 – 1967) Russian writer
Communication Congress Government Speech