Subject: Communication » Wordplay

My wife says I’m unsophisticated and uncultured, so to prove her wrong, guess where I’m taking her… hint: It starts with “B” and rhymes with “wallet.”

Characteristics Wordplay

People say I’m a plagiarist… their word, not mine.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

If a parsley farmer loses a law suit, do they garnish his wages?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Wordplay

I always say beauty is only sin deep.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Appearance Wordplay

Man was predestined to have free will.

Beliefs Wordplay

A day without sunshine is like, you know… night.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Wordplay

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Self Wordplay

The chickens have come home to roast.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Wordplay

Do they give pilots crash courses in flight school?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Occupations Wordplay Work

In America you can always find a party; in Russia the party always finds you.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places Wordplay

Rattlesnake: Tattle tail.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Wordplay

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Urinalysis: The study of pissed off people.

Definitions Health Wordplay

When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste; when I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication Wordplay

Corduroy pillows: They’re making headlines!

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Things Wordplay

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from strong will, and the other from strong won’t.

(1813 – 1887) American clergyman, social reformer & abolitionist
Characteristics Wordplay

How is it possible to have a civil war?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict War Wordplay

Barber: The town cutup.

Definitions Wordplay

Sad news, apparently the Michelin Man has retired.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay