Subject: Communication » Wordplay

At the all-you-can-eat barbecue, you have to pay the regular dinner price if you eat less than you can.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Wordplay

Theodore Dreiser should ought to write nicer.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Reviews/Criticism Wordplay

Spent the last 3 days, alone, trying to learn escapology… I need to get out more.

(1980 – ) English magician & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Castration: A eunuch experience.

Definitions Wordplay

Abstinence makes the heart go wander.

Sex Wordplay

I drink therefore I am.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Wordplay

People say I’m a plagiarist… their word, not mine.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Familiarity breeds attempt.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Relationships Sex Wordplay

To eat is human, to digest, divine.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Eating Food/Drink Wordplay

Perfume: What a woman hopes will make her the scenter of attention.

Definitions Wordplay

Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.

Definitions Health Wordplay

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Definitions Wordplay

Peeping Tom: A window fan.

Definitions Wordplay

I think the worst thing about driving a time machine is your kids are always in the back moaning, ‘Are we then yet?’

(1987 – ) British comedian
Things Wordplay

Judge: A man in a trying position.

Definitions Wordplay

Reducing: Wishful shrinking.

Appearance Body Definitions Wordplay

I really wanted kids when I was in my early 20s but I could just never… lure them into my car; no, I'm kidding… I don’t have a license.

(1980 – ) Australian comedian
Children Communication Family Wordplay

Avoid fruit and nuts; you are what you eat.

(1945 –) American cartoonist (Garfield)
Eating Food/Drink Wordplay

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Communication Language Wordplay

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Wordplay

I am his awfully-wedded wife.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Malaprops Marriage Wordplay