Subject: Communication » Wordplay

I drink therefore I am.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Wordplay

Gentlemen prefer bonds.

(1855 – 1937) American lawyer, judge, banker & Secretary of Treasury
Communication Wordplay

My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one: She was livid… “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs Wordplay

I believe in the right to arm bears.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Beliefs Opinion Wordplay

Snoring: Sheet music.

Definitions Sleep Wordplay

Never in the ring of human conflict have so few taken so much from so many.

American boxer
Boxing Sports Wordplay

Alcatraz: A pen with a lifetime guarantee.

Definitions Wordplay

You can wait here in the sitting room, or you can sit here in the waiting room.

American comedy troupe
Communication Wordplay

I have two boys, 5 and 6… we’re no good at naming things in our house.

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Children Family Wordplay

Hou know what always captures my eye… short people with umbrellas.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

I remember what my grandmother said to me on her deathbed: She said: ‘I wish I’d bought a normal bed.’

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Communication Death Last words Wordplay

Five out of every three people have trouble understanding fractions.

(1927 – 2018) British comedian, singer & songwriter
Science/Weather Wordplay

Harpist: A plucky musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

If these walls could talk, they'd probably say, "No! Not the nails again! Not the hammer!

Communication Wordplay

All I had to my name were some letters and all I had in my pocket was a broken compass; I didn’t know which way to turn.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers Society of, The?

(1929 – 2009) British novelist, newspaper columnist & television writer
Occupations Wordplay Work

Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.

Definitions Wordplay

She was just a passing fiancée.

Communication Wordplay

Show me an archaeologist, and I’ll show you a man who practices skull drudgery.

Science/Weather Wordplay

I always say beauty is only sin deep.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Appearance Wordplay

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from strong will, and the other from strong won’t.

(1813 – 1887) American clergyman, social reformer & abolitionist
Characteristics Wordplay