Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 11)

Farmer: A man who is outstanding in his field.

Definitions Wordplay

One arm butlers – they can take it but they can’t dish it out.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Communication Wordplay

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Science/Weather Wordplay

Through no fault of his own my uncle crashed his car into a lemon tree; he is still bitter and twisted.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Invitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

writer
Communication Wordplay

Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends.

(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
Communication Friends People Wordplay

Holy deadlock.

(1890 – 1971) English humorist, novelist & playwright
Marriage Wordplay

In America you can always find a party; in Russia the party always finds you.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America Places Wordplay

I ran a sculpting studio, until it went bust.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Pediatrician: Man of little patients.

Definitions Doctors Health Wordplay

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today… unfortunately, it’s only for victims.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

My father was a small claims court jester.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Family Fathers Wordplay

Farmer: A handy man with a sense of humus.

Definitions Wordplay

Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.

comedian
Health Wordplay

If I had my life to live over, I’d live it over a deli.

(1926 – 2009) comedian, actor, radio – TV personality & host
Life Wordplay

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.

Children Family Sex Wordplay

Penicillin: What to give a man who has everything.

Definitions Health Wordplay

If I repeatedly stab my cornflakes does that make me a cereal killer?

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Gentlemen prefer bonds.

(1855 – 1937) American lawyer, judge, banker & Secretary of Treasury
Communication Wordplay

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Sex Wordplay

A rule of thumb in the matter of medical advice is to take everything any doctor says with a grain of aspirin.


Doctors Health Wordplay