Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 4)

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Sex Wordplay

Through no fault of his own my uncle crashed his car into a lemon tree; he is still bitter and twisted.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Rattlesnake: Tattle tail.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

At the all-you-can-eat barbecue, you have to pay the regular dinner price if you eat less than you can.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Wordplay

My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one: She was livid… “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs Wordplay

Hou know what always captures my eye… short people with umbrellas.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

One arm butlers – they can take it but they can’t dish it out.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Communication Wordplay

I had a job drilling holes for water… it was well, boring.


Communication Wordplay

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

Seven days without laughter makes one weak.


Emotions Laughter Wordplay

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

Youth is stranger than fiction.

writer
Children Family Wordplay

Will you take this woman to be your awful wedded wife?

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Communication Marriage Wordplay

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

Communication Wordplay

I have the brain of a German Shepard and the body of 16-year-old boy… they're both in my car and I want you to see them.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & television ho
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends.

(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
Communication Friends People Wordplay

Harpist: A plucky musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Wordplay Work

My wife says I’m unsophisticated and uncultured, so to prove her wrong, guess where I’m taking her… hint: It starts with “B” and rhymes with “wallet.”

Characteristics Wordplay

Archaeology is the science that proves you can’t keep a good man down.

Science/Weather Wordplay

In court I was found guilty of being egotistical… I am appealing.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay