Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 5)

A rule of thumb in the matter of medical advice is to take everything any doctor says with a grain of aspirin.


Doctors Health Wordplay

Coffee: Break fluid.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Health Wordplay

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

I waited an hour for my starter; so I complained… ‘It's not rocket salad.’

British comedian & actress
Communication Malaprops Wordplay

A chrysanthemum by any other name would be easier to spell.

author
Communication Language Wordplay

I really wanted kids when I was in my early 20s but I could just never… lure them into my car; no, I'm kidding… I don’t have a license.

(1980 – ) Australian comedian
Children Communication Family Wordplay

Oregon leads America in both marital infidelity and clinical depression… what a sad state of affairs.


Communication Wordplay

Love: Woman’s eternal spring and man’s eternal fall.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Emotions Love Wordplay

Obesity: A surplus gone to waist.

Appearance Body Definitions Fat Wordplay

My dad suggested I register for a donor card; he’s a man after my own heart.


Communication Wordplay

Why are they called apartments when they’re all stuck together?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Communication Wordplay

Farmer: A handy man with a sense of humus.

Definitions Wordplay

Apex: A gorilla’s old girlfriend.

Definitions Wordplay

A day without sunshine is like, you know… night.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Communication Wordplay

I always say beauty is only sin deep.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Appearance Wordplay

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

Definitions Wordplay

Paradox: Two physicians.

Definitions Doctors Wordplay

At school the other kids used to push me around and call me lazy; I loved that wheelchair.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Sad news, apparently the Michelin Man has retired.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay