Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 5)

So I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck, turns out I phoned dial-a-lama.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Communication Things Wordplay

Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

There’s nothing to fear but life itself.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Emotions Fear Wordplay

Pediatrician: Man of little patients.

Definitions Doctors Health Wordplay

The early bird gets the worm but the late worm gets to live.

comedian, writer & editor
Communication Wordplay

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as ‘4’s’?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Man was predestined to have free will.

Beliefs Wordplay

You want to go out tonight? We could grab an Italian. And then go for dinner afterwards.

(1963 – ) Canadian-American actor
TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Communication Wordplay

If these walls could talk, they'd probably say, "No! Not the nails again! Not the hammer!

Communication Wordplay

If a mime is arrested, do they tell him he has a right to talk?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

I have the brain of a German Shepard and the body of 16-year-old boy… they're both in my car and I want you to see them.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & television ho
Miscellaneous Wordplay

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

Peeping Tom: A window fan.

Definitions Wordplay

Time and tide and hookers wait for no man.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Wordplay

I remember what my grandmother said to me on her deathbed: She said: ‘I wish I’d bought a normal bed.’

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Communication Death Last words Wordplay

People say I’m a plagiarist… their word, not mine.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Sad news, apparently the Michelin Man has retired.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

Why are they called apartments when they’re all stuck together?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay