Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 6)

A day without sunshine is like, you know… night.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

In America you can always find a party; in Russia the party always finds you.

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you.

If these walls could talk, they'd probably say, "No! Not the nails again! Not the hammer!

My grandfather invented the cold air balloon… but it never really took off.

(1964 – ) English comedian

Sadist: A person who is kind to a masochist.

What Iran needs now is a more modern leader – a mullah lite.

(1973 – ) Iranian-born British comedian

Seven days without laughter makes one weak.


Teachers: United Mind Workers.

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

(1946 – ) American comedian

Sewing Circle: Where friendship hangs by a thread.

Yodeling: Slope opera.

I drink therefore I am.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers Society of, The?

(1929 – 2009) British novelist, newspaper columnist & television writer

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright

Wife Swapping: Sexual fourplay.

There’s nothing to fear but life itself.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor

I realized I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Tears: Remorse code.

Hou know what always captures my eye… short people with umbrellas.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian