Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 7)

The Houston Astros play in a vast indoor stadium known as the Astrodome, but the problem is they field a half-vast team.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports Wordplay

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.

Children Family Sex Wordplay

I’m the lady who works at Paramount all day… and Fox all night.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

Bathing Suit: A garment cut to see level.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

People with Tourette’s… what makes them tick?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Health Wordplay

Teetotaler: One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions Wordplay

I am not so think as you drunk I am.

(1884 – 1958) British poet, writer, historian & literary editor
Alcohol Food/Drink Wordplay

A rule of thumb in the matter of medical advice is to take everything any doctor says with a grain of aspirin.


Doctors Health Wordplay

You know who really gives kids a bad name? … Posh and Becks.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Communication Wordplay

Umpire: The original strike arbitrator.

Definitions Wordplay

A chrysanthemum by any other name… would be easier to pronounce.

(1945 – ) American actress, film director & producer
Communication TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Self Wordplay

Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.

Definitions Wordplay

I went to a Pretenders gig; it was a tribute act.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Communication Wordplay

Who remembers when X Factor was just Roman suncream?

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

Sewing Circle: A group of women who needle each other.

Definitions Friends Wordplay

I got a new dog… he’s a paranoid retriever; he brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Animals Dogs Wordplay

Propaganda: Baloney disguised as food for thought.

Definitions Wordplay

I was a young lad living under a poker table with a chip on my shoulder.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Man was predestined to have free will.

Beliefs Wordplay

I think the worst thing about driving a time machine is your kids are always in the back moaning, ‘Are we then yet?’

(1987 – ) British comedian
Things Wordplay