Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 8)

Teachers: United Mind Workers.

Definitions Education Wordplay

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

Communication Language Wordplay

There are very few people at the Fringe these days doing Roman-numeral jokes; I is one.

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.

comedian
Health Wordplay

The Houston Astros play in a vast indoor stadium known as the Astrodome, but the problem is they field a half-vast team.

American baseball player
Baseball Sports Wordplay

The perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
Wordplay

You know who really gives kids a bad name? … Posh and Becks.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Communication Wordplay

If I had my life to live over, I’d live it over a deli.

(1926 – 2009) comedian, actor, radio – TV personality & host
Life Wordplay

I am having an out-of-money experience.

Communication Wordplay

Children always take the line of most persistence.

writer
Children Family Wordplay

My girlfriend’s dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one: She was livid… “What am I going to do with two dead dogs?”

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Animals Dogs Wordplay

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Health Wordplay

Abstinence makes the heart go wander.

Sex Wordplay

Oscar night at my house is called Passover.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Communication Wordplay

If these walls could talk, they'd probably say, "No! Not the nails again! Not the hammer!

Communication Wordplay

Nothing risqué nothing gained!

(1933 – 1967) American actress, entertainer & Hollywood sex symbol
Communication Sex Wordplay

Accordionated: Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

Definitions Wordplay

Never in the ring of human conflict have so few taken so much from so many.

American boxer
Boxing Sports Wordplay

My dad suggested I register for a donor card; he’s a man after my own heart.


Communication Wordplay

I invented a new word – “plagiarism.”

Communication Language Wordplay

The baby wakes up in the wee wee hours of the morning.

Children Family Wordplay