Subject: Communication » Wordplay (Page 9)

Tissue: Your daily nosepaper.

Definitions Wordplay

Geologist: Fault finder.

Definitions Wordplay

Pushing fifty is exercise enough


Activities Age Exercise Wordplay

Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.

Definitions Wordplay

I went to a Pretenders gig; it was a tribute act.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Communication Wordplay

Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends.

(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
Communication Friends People Wordplay

So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Miscellaneous Wordplay

To eat is human, to digest, divine.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Eating Food/Drink Wordplay

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders… I hate necks.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Body Communication People Women Wordplay

Coffee: Break fluid.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Usher: One who takes a leading part in a theatre.

Wordplay

People say I’m a plagiarist… their word, not mine.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

It’s hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Wordplay

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Health Wordplay

All really grim gardeners possess a keen sense of humus.

(1898 – 1951) Scottish humorist
Activities Wordplay

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today… unfortunately, it’s only for victims.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Wordplay

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Wordplay Work

Colin had his neck brace fitted years ago and since then he’s never looked back.


Communication Things Wordplay

Never position a rock near a hard place.

(1962 – ) English writer
Communication Situations Wordplay

I invented a new word – “plagiarism.”

Communication Language Wordplay