Subject: Conflict » Arms

Gun-free zones kill people

Arms Conflict Headlines

Do you ever go into a store and you happen to be carrying something that they sell in that store and then start to get all paranoid that they're going to think that you stole it? … That happened to me recently at the gun store.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & writer
Arms Conflict Situations

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

Arms Military Money Murphy’s Laws

A gun is not a weapon, it's a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Arms TV/Movie Quotes

I like going to the park and watching the children run and jump around, because you see, they don't know I'm using blanks.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Children People Things

An Iranian moderate is one that has run out of ammunition.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Arms Conflict Government People Places

All five-second grenade fuses will burn down in three seconds.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.

Arms Intelligence Military

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Arms Sports

Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't.

Arms Government Military Murphy’s Laws

One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take off our shoes at the airport; thirty-one school shootings since Columbine and no change in our regulation of guns.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Arms Conflict TV/Movie Quotes

Guns don't kill people; it's those bullets ripping through the body.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Arms Conflict Death

Firearms groups across the country have declared today the first annual Gun Appreciation Day…. so don’t forget to set your clock back 100 years.

(1973 – ) American comedian, actor & television host
Arms TV/Movie Quotes

Automatic weapons – aren’t.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students… there were no survivors.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Arms Conflict

Recoilless rifles – aren’t.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

Tracers work BOTH ways.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

The NRA is not pro-gun, they’re anti-varmint.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Arms Conflict

Smart bombs have bad days too.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Conflict Time

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Arms Games Murphy’s Laws Things