Subject: Conflict (Page 10)

If it is worth fighting for, it is worth fighting dirty for.

Conflict Fights Murphy’s Laws

Outside of the killings, [Washington] has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.

(1936 – ) American politician, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
Conflict Crime Misspokements

At this point we should just make it the 51st state: Welcome to Iraqachusetts: live free and die.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Conflict Government War

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict Friends Killing People Young

The scariest guy in prison is the white guy… because he's guilty.

American comedian
Conflict Crime Law People

Murder is a crime – describing murder is not; sex is not a crime – describing sex is.

(1917 – 1999) American sexologist
Communication Conflict Crime Language Reading/Writing

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Fights Sex

How is it possible to have a civil war?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict War Wordplay

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Communication Conflict Reading/Writing

If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws War

Only the winners decide what were war crimes.

(1934 – ) American author, journalist & historian
Conflict Crime War

God is usually on the side of the big squadrons against the small.

(1618 – 1693) French memoirist
Conflict God War

My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice; for ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Communication Family Fathers Killing Mothers Speech

Do you ever go into a store and you happen to be carrying something that they sell in that store and then start to get all paranoid that they're going to think that you stole it? … That happened to me recently at the gun store.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & writer
Arms Conflict Situations

When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Conflict

America never lost a war or won a peace conference.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
America Conflict Places War

I am at two with nature.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Conflict

Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.


(1934 – 2012) American army general
Conflict Places War

Peace: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Fights Politics Time

Desert combat?… I can't even stand the walk back from the beach to the car.

comedian, television host & actor
Conflict War

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Conflict Killing Men People Women