Subject: Conflict (Page 12)

When I see the Ten Most Wanted lists, I always have this thought: If we'd made them feel wanted earlier, they wouldn't be wanted now.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Conflict Crime

The best weapon against an enemy is another enemy.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
Conflict

I’m not a fighter, I’m a bleeder.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Fights Self

Don't lie, steal, or cheat unnecessarily.

Characteristics Conflict Honesty Murphy’s Laws

Interviewer: Can you imagine yourself killing another human.

Sedaris: Not a stranger.

(1956 – ) American humorist, comedian & author
Conflict Killing

I will personally challenge anyone who wants to get rid of fighting to a fight.

American-Canadian hockey executive
Fights Hockey Sports

American couples have gone to such lengths to avoid the interference of in-laws that they have to pay marriage counselors to interfere between them.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Conflict Husbands Marriage Wives

I haven’t heard the president state that we’re at war… that’s why I too am not knowing… do we use the term intervention?… do we use war?… do we use squirmish?… what is it?

(1964 – ) U.S. governor (Alaska) commentator & author
Conflict Misspokements

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Conflict Killing Men People Women

Fun Stuff: Walk into a gun store, buy three guns and a bunch of ammunition, then ask them if they have any ski masks.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Arms Conflict

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict Friends Killing People Young

An infallible method of conciliating a tiger is to allow oneself to be devoured.

(1876 – 1967) German statesman
Conflict

I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq; after all, France wouldn’t help us get the Germans out of France!


(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Conflict Places War

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Activities Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Conflict Proverbs

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Arms Games Murphy’s Laws Things

It’s not living alone if you keep a rifle under the bed.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Arms Life Things

I once asked a policeman how far it was to the subway and he said, “I don’t know, no one has ever made it.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Conflict Crime

I like going to the park and watching the children run and jump around, because you see, they don't know I'm using blanks.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Children People Things

Do you ever go into a store and you happen to be carrying something that they sell in that store and then start to get all paranoid that they're going to think that you stole it? … That happened to me recently at the gun store.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & writer
Arms Conflict Situations

War has become a luxury that only small nations can afford.

(1906 – 1975) German-born American political theorist
Conflict War