Subject: Conflict (Page 12)

My wife and I had words – but I never got to use mine.

Conflict Marriage Wives

An Iranian moderate is one that has run out of ammunition.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Arms Conflict Government People Places

Going to war over religion, is basically just killing people in an argument over who has the better imaginary friend.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Conflict Killing Religion War

He was young – He was fair – But the Injuns – Raised his hair

Conflict Epitaphs Hair Young

The real trouble with war (modern war) is that it gives no one a chance to kill the right people.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic
Conflict Killing People War

Prisoner serving 2,000-year sentence could face more time

Crime Headlines

In a war of ideas it is people who get killed.

(1909 – 1966) Polish poet, writer & aphorist
Conflict Ideas Intelligence War

Dick Cheney says he loves California… out here the rich and famous can shoot people and get away with it.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict People Places

I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Conflict Crime Situations

We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Conflict Government People

America never lost a war or won a peace conference.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
America Conflict Places War

When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Conflict

My Dad always told me there’s three things you need to have in the boot of your car: a blanket, a shovel and a flask; and he’s right – because whenever I’ve killed a man I’m parched.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Autos Conflict Killing Things

Cold War: Hot peace.

Conflict Definitions

The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing; it's called the stock market.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict Money

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

He scored hockey by the number of fights. If you lost seven to one, but won five fights, he figured you won the game.

Canadian businessman, sportsman & owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

I once asked a policeman how far it was to the subway and he said, “I don’t know, no one has ever made it.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Conflict Crime

Crime does not pay… as well as politics.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Government Politics

I've had 117 fights and that's the first time I've ever won.

(1929 – ) American baseball player who had a well-publicized bipolar disorder
Baseball Conflict Fights Sports

Pacifist: A fellow who could attend a peace conference without getting into a fight.

Conflict Definitions Fights People