Subject: Conflict (Page 13)

An Iranian moderate is one that has run out of ammunition.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Arms Conflict Government People Places

If our politicians were better at pretending to get along, there wouldn’t be any war.

Conflict Government Politicians War

I do have some sad news to report: Bjork could not be here; she was trying on her Oscars dress and Dick Cheney shot her.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Conflict

By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series

(1966 – ) American journalist & novelist
Conflict Hockey Sports

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Conflict Fights Individuals People Ugly

I was arrested for selling illegal-sized paper.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Crime

Wallowing in corruption like a rhinoceros in an African pool.

(1831 – 1902) journalist & newspaper editor
Crime Insults

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Conflict Life World

You break into my house… my wife will shoot you, and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Arms Speech Things

If I play badly I’ll pick a fight in the third, just to get into a fight. I’ll break a guy’s leg to win, I don’t care. Afterward I say, ‘Yeah, all right I played badly, but I won the fight so who gives a damn.'

Canadian hockey player
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

Scooter Libby was found guilty of perjury, obstruction, and making false statements… or, as the White House calls it, a press conference.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Crime Government Law

I’ve been temping at the job that laid me off, and that’s awkward because everybody knows I got canned, and they think I’ve come back to shoot them.

stand-up comedian & writer
Conflict Situations Work

Have you heard about the woman who stabbed her husband thirty-seven times? … I admire her restraint.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Conflict Marriage Wives

My toughest fight was with my first wife.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Fights Marriage Relationships Sports Wives

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict Friends Killing People Young

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Conflict Fights Marriage

Men who drink herbal teas are seldom serial killers.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Conflict Killing Men People

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

Conflict Headlines

Criminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.

(1890 – 1970) American engineer
Conflict Crime

Woman Charged With Stealing Underwear, Cheese

Crime Headlines

You might be a redneck if… your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Conflict People Rednecks Relationships