Subject: Conflict (Page 13)

Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Crime Government Law People

Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Arms Conflict Time

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Conflict Marriage War

Capital Punishment: Killing people who kill people to prove that killing people is wrong.

Crime Death Definitions Killing

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Conflict War

One of my friends went on a murder weekend… now he is doing life for it.

(1961 – ) English standup comedian, actor & writer
Activities Crime

Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.


(1934 – 2012) American army general
Conflict Places War

I was once arrested for resisting arrest.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict

They say that guns don't kill people, people kill people, but I think the guns help.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Arms Conflict Killing

I got up the other day and everything in my apartment was stolen and replaced with an exact replica.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Crime Things

Revolution: An abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict Definitions Government

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping; men invade another country.

(1952 – ) comedian
Eating Men People Shopping War Women

It's negative to think about blowing each other up.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Conflict War

War has become a luxury that only small nations can afford.

(1906 – 1975) German-born American political theorist
Conflict War

If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws War

Pacifist: A fellow who could attend a peace conference without getting into a fight.

Conflict Definitions Fights People

Kissinger bought peace to Vietnam the same way Napoleon brought peace to to Europe: by losing.

(1923 – 1999) American satirical novelist, short story writer & playwright
Conflict

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago…I shot my broker.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Conflict Killing Money

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Murphy’s Laws War

If you are going to have a fight with a visiting club, be sure to insult them the day they come to town, and not the last day of the series. It pays off better.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Conflict Fights Sports