Subject: Conflict (Page 13)

The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Arms Conflict Stupidity

Some of my best friends are thieves; why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Conflict Crime People

Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Conflict Death War

Buying my wife a gun is sort of like me saying, 'You know, I kinda want to kill myself, but I want it to be a surprise.'

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
Arms Conflict Killing Situations

Desert combat?… I can't even stand the walk back from the beach to the car.

comedian, television host & actor
Conflict War

If people were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more wars.

(1936 – 1989) American social & political activist
Conflict Eating Killing People War

Interviewer: Can you imagine yourself killing another human.

Sedaris: Not a stranger.

(1956 – ) American humorist, comedian & author
Conflict Killing

Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Crime Government Law People

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Conflict Fights Individuals People Ugly

If hockey fights were fake, I'd be in more of them.

professional hockey player
Fights Hockey Sports

If I play badly I’ll pick a fight in the third, just to get into a fight. I’ll break a guy’s leg to win, I don’t care. Afterward I say, ‘Yeah, all right I played badly, but I won the fight so who gives a damn.'

Canadian hockey player
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

The army with the smartest dress uniform will lose.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws

I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Conflict Crime Situations

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Animals Conflict Situations Sleep

You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs.

Conflict Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

There are two sides to every argument, and they’re usually married to each other.

Communication Conflict Marriage Speech

God is usually on the side of the big squadrons against the small.

(1618 – 1693) French memoirist
Conflict God War

Marriage, in life, is like a duel in the midst of a battle.

(1828 – 1885) French novelist, publicist & journalist
Conflict Life Marriage

You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Conflict Entertainment Sex Television

True friends stab you in the front.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Conflict Friends Old People