Subject: Conflict (Page 14)

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Conflict Situations

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals; she thought we just fought in world war eleven.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Intelligence War

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Crime Malaprops

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the states, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
America Arms Things

If you are going to tell people the truth, be funny or they will kill you.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Communication Honesty Killing Truth

Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't.

Arms Government Military Murphy’s Laws

He who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool; he who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Conflict People Self

I’m really a timid person – I was beaten up by Quakers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Conflict Fights

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students… there were no survivors.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Arms Conflict

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

(1972 – ) English standup comedian, writer & actor
Animals Arms Government Things

One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take off our shoes at the airport; thirty-one school shootings since Columbine and no change in our regulation of guns.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Arms Conflict TV/Movie Quotes

It’s better to be tried by twelve men than to be carried by six.

Conflict Crime Death Government Law Murphy’s Laws

Wallowing in corruption like a rhinoceros in an African pool.

(1831 – 1902) journalist & newspaper editor
Crime Insults

I was thinkin' maybe we should just bomb ourselves so we could upgrade our school system.

(1961 – ) comedian, writer, radio & television personality & blogger
Conflict Education School War

I do have some sad news to report: Bjork could not be here; she was trying on her Oscars dress and Dick Cheney shot her.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Conflict

Two people fighting is not violence in hockey. It might be in tennis or bowling, but it's not in hockey.

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Fights Hockey Sports

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Murphy’s Laws War

Probably the toughest time in anyone’s life is when you have to murder a loved one because they’re the devil.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Conflict Killing Life People Time

Remember the good old days when the only bomb you had to worry about on a plane was the Rob Schneider movie?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict Entertainment Film

God invented football so grown men would have something to do between wars.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Conflict Football Sports War

Pickpocket: A man who believes that every crowd has a silver lining.

Crime Definitions