Subject: Conflict (Page 17)

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Arms Conflict Things

I’ve been temping at the job that laid me off, and that’s awkward because everybody knows I got canned, and they think I’ve come back to shoot them.

stand-up comedian & writer
Conflict Situations Work

We know how much fans enjoy a good brawl, so we are going to guarantee a fight. If there is not a single five-minute fighting major given to a player, every fan in attendance will receive a free ticket to the following home game.

Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

When your back is against the wall, there is only one thing to do, and that is turn around and fight.

(1943 – ) British prime minister & politician
Conflict Fights Misspokements

The scariest guy in prison is the white guy… because he's guilty.

American comedian
Conflict Crime Law People

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Activities Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

Murderers – stop murdering; everyone will die eventually… just sit down and be patient.

(1975 – ) English comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Death Killing

The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Conflict War

I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.


(1885 – 1945) U.S. Army general
Conflict Places War

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Conflict

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

Arms Military Money Murphy’s Laws

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and selling your story to T.V.!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Entertainment Television

If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws War