Subject: Conflict (Page 17)

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns.

(1921 – 1999) American writer (The Godfather)
Conflict Crime Lawyers

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students… there were no survivors.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Arms Conflict

A gun is not a weapon, it's a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Arms TV/Movie Quotes

Going to war over religion, is basically just killing people in an argument over who has the better imaginary friend.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Conflict Killing Religion War

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Arms People Things

Shoplifter Who Soiled Clothes Fails to Wipe Record Clean

Crime Headlines

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Conflict Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes War

I’ve been temping at the job that laid me off, and that’s awkward because everybody knows I got canned, and they think I’ve come back to shoot them.

stand-up comedian & writer
Conflict Situations Work

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

actor, writer & editor
Accidents Problems War

The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing; it's called the stock market.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict Money

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Conflict Future Things Time War

Don't lie, steal, or cheat unnecessarily.

Characteristics Conflict Honesty Murphy’s Laws