Subject: Conflict (Page 17)

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

(1927 – 2004) American comedian & actor
Conflict Fights Marriage

Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.

Marriage Proverbs War

God is usually on the side of the big squadrons against the small.

(1618 – 1693) French memoirist
Conflict God War

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me; I said, “Well, what do you need?”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Arms Canada Places Things

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Conflict Fights Individuals People Ugly

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Arms People Things

Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.

Conflict Murphy’s Laws

Starting a war in the name of peace is like poking a hole in a balloon to get more air into it.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict War

The NRA is not pro-gun, they’re anti-varmint.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Arms Conflict

Most people assume the fights are going to be the left versus the right, but it always is the reasonable versus the jerks.

(1966 – ) entrepreneur, founder of Wikipedia
Beliefs Conflict Fights

Firearms groups across the country have declared today the first annual Gun Appreciation Day…. so don’t forget to set your clock back 100 years.

(1973 – ) American comedian, actor & television host
Arms TV/Movie Quotes

People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Crime Situations