Subject: Conflict (Page 2)

I'd rather fight than score.

Canadian hockey player
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

One of my friends went on a murder weekend… now he is doing life for it.

(1961 – ) English standup comedian, actor & writer
Activities Crime

Man Is Fatally Slain

Conflict Headlines

If we had less statesmanship we could get along with fewer battleships.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Arms Conflict Government Military Things War

I hate traveling, I guess ’cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Activities Conflict Family Fathers Travel

You might be a redneck if… your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Conflict People Rednecks Relationships

I look at fighting the same way I look at physics; I can’t do it, but I respect its ability to solve problems.

comedian
Conflict Fights

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Activities Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

There are two sides to every argument, and they’re usually married to each other.

Communication Conflict Marriage Speech

Those who hammer their guns into ploughs will plough for those who do not.

(1743 – 1826) American Founding Father & 3rd U.S. president
Arms Conflict

Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.

Characteristics Conflict Murphy’s Laws

If you can’t beat them, arrange 
to have them beaten

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Conflict Fights

Shoplifting: Free enterprise.

Conflict Crime Definitions

Black folk ain't going to kill over and over and over again; that's too much like work; that's a career.

(1963 – ) American comedian
Conflict Killing

'Bush and Son: Leading America to War Since 1990.'

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
America Conflict War

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Conflict Marriage War

If hockey fights were fake, I'd be in more of them.

professional hockey player
Fights Hockey Sports

A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.

Arms Games Murphy’s Laws Things

The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.


Conflict Intelligence Killing People Stupidity

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Fights Sex

McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Crime Situations