Subject: Conflict (Page 3)

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Conflict Fights Individuals People Ugly

The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.

(John Bloom) (1953 – ) American film critic, writer & actor
Conflict Family Fights

I don’t worry about terrorism… I was married for two years.

(1953 – 1992) American comedian
Conflict Marriage

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Conflict Marriage War

A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they're loaded or not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Arms Beliefs Opinion Things

Man Is Fatally Slain

Conflict Headlines

Wallowing in corruption like a rhinoceros in an African pool.

(1831 – 1902) journalist & newspaper editor
Crime Insults

I think if the postal service had any balls, they would issue a series of stamps commemorating all the people who have been killed by mailmen.

comedian
Conflict Killing

When I see the Ten Most Wanted lists, I always have this thought: If we'd made them feel wanted earlier, they wouldn't be wanted now.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Conflict Crime

I hate traveling, I guess ’cause my dad used to beat me with a globe.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Activities Conflict Family Fathers Travel

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

Conflict Housework Husbands Marriage Proverbs

Don’t worry about the war; it’s all over but the shooting.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Malaprops War

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Arms People Things

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years; it lasted forty-three years.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Conflict Parents Relationships Time

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

Arms Military Money Murphy’s Laws

Never argue with a man who buys ink by the barrel.

Conflict Murphy’s Laws

The scariest guy in prison is the white guy… because he's guilty.

American comedian
Conflict Crime Law People

There are two sides to every argument, and they’re usually married to each other.

Communication Conflict Marriage Speech

Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't.

Arms Government Military Murphy’s Laws

The Middle Eastern states aren’t nations, they’re quarrels with borders.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Conflict Fights Places

People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Crime Situations