Subject: Conflict (Page 3)

I’m really a timid person – I was beaten up by Quakers.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Conflict Fights

Gun-free zones kill people

Arms Conflict Headlines

I don't want to get so famous to where the guy who shoots me becomes famous.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Conflict Killing Success

The scariest guy in prison is the white guy… because he's guilty.

American comedian
Conflict Crime Law People

The NRA is not pro-gun, they’re anti-varmint.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Arms Conflict

The sloppier the rebel uniform, the more likely the overthrow of the existing government.

Appearance Clothing Conflict Murphy’s Laws

Wife Regrets Staying With Man She Killed

Conflict Headlines Wives

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Conflict Situations War

Men who drink herbal teas are seldom serial killers.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Conflict Killing Men People

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing; it's called the stock market.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict Money

Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.


(1934 – 2012) American army general
Conflict Places War

Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.

(1955 – ) Mexican-American comedian & actor
Conflict War

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Killing

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Characteristics Conflict Killing People

The world is a place that’s gone from being flat to round to crooked.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Crime Honesty Places World

Do you ever go into a store and you happen to be carrying something that they sell in that store and then start to get all paranoid that they're going to think that you stole it? … That happened to me recently at the gun store.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & writer
Arms Conflict Situations

All I know is, finally I get to kill somebody.

American actor
Conflict Killing TV/Movie Quotes

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

actor, writer & editor
Accidents Problems War

If crime went down 100%, it would still be fifty times higher than it should be.

American politician
Conflict Crime Misspokements

God invented football so grown men would have something to do between wars.

(1929 – ) American author & sportswriter
Conflict Football Sports War