Subject: Conflict (Page 4)

In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students… there were no survivors.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Arms Conflict

Desert combat?… I can't even stand the walk back from the beach to the car.

comedian, television host & actor
Conflict War

I know a baseball star who wouldn't report the theft of his wife's credit cards because the thief spends less than she does.

(1926 – 2016) American baseball player, announcer & television host
Conflict Crime Money

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Conflict Friends Killing People

Most people assume the fights are going to be the left versus the right, but it always is the reasonable versus the jerks.

(1966 – ) entrepreneur, founder of Wikipedia
Beliefs Conflict Fights

The streets are safe in Philadelphia – it’s only the people who make them unsafe.

(1920 – 1991) American police officer & mayor of Philadelphia
Conflict Crime Misspokements Places

I’ve spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Conflict Girlfriends Killing People

'Bush and Son: Leading America to War Since 1990.'

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
America Conflict War

There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict

America never lost a war or won a peace conference.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
America Conflict Places War

Tracers work BOTH ways.

Arms Military Murphy’s Laws

Shoplifter Who Soiled Clothes Fails to Wipe Record Clean

Crime Headlines

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and then selling your story to TV.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Entertainment Television

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me; I said, “Well, what do you need?”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Arms Canada Places Things

He who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool; he who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Conflict People Self

At the end of the Peterson trial, my daughter turns to me and she goes, 'Daddy, are you going to kill Mommy?'… 'Oh, honey – that's up to Mommy, isn't it?'

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Conflict Killing Marriage Wives

I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq; after all, France wouldn’t help us get the Germans out of France!


(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Conflict Places War

What’s a Jewish mobster?… ‘I’m going to break the legs of your therapist.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Conflict People

Do you ever go into a store and you happen to be carrying something that they sell in that store and then start to get all paranoid that they're going to think that you stole it? … That happened to me recently at the gun store.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & writer
Arms Conflict Situations

Army recruiter: Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That’s robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing.

Ziskey: Never convicted.

(1944 – 2014) American actor, director & writer
Crime TV/Movie Quotes

I know we were buddies because he threatened to kill me on no fewer than three occasions, and he did that only to his friends.

(1935) British film director, producer & food critic
Conflict Friends People Young