Subject: Conflict (Page 5)

It's hard to fight when you're in a gazebo.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Conflict Fights

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Killing

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Conflict Fights

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president
Animals Cats Conflict Fights

We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.

Conflict Killing

Two people fighting is not violence in hockey. It might be in tennis or bowling, but it's not in hockey.

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Fights Hockey Sports

Firearms groups across the country have declared today the first annual Gun Appreciation Day…. so don’t forget to set your clock back 100 years.

(1973 – ) American comedian, actor & television host
Arms TV/Movie Quotes

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Age Conflict Friends Killing People

He scored hockey by the number of fights. If you lost seven to one, but won five fights, he figured you won the game.

Canadian businessman, sportsman & owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs
Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Arms Conflict Things

Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Characteristics Men People War

Everyone’s a pacifist between wars; it’s like being a vegetarian between meals.

(1938 – ) American journalist, teacher, lecturer & pacifist
Beliefs Conflict War

Revolution: An abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict Definitions Government

Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.

Marriage Proverbs War

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years; it lasted forty-three years.

American stand-up comedian, television writer & actor
Conflict Parents Relationships Time

I was arrested for selling illegal-sized paper.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Crime

Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.

Characteristics Conflict Murphy’s Laws

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time… most unsolved.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Conflict New York City Places

An Iranian moderate is one that has run out of ammunition.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Arms Conflict Government People Places

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Conflict Life World

Cold War: Hot peace.

Conflict Definitions