Subject: Conflict (Page 6)

Going to war over religion, is basically just killing people in an argument over who has the better imaginary friend.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Beliefs Conflict Killing Religion War

God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Conflict God War

People say I have the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the cops have nothing on me, man!

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Crime Situations

As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Conflict Military War

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places

There are two sides to every argument, and they’re usually married to each other.

Communication Conflict Marriage Speech

Prison inmates are treated to cable TV, hot meals and a college education, while on the outside some people can only afford these things through a life of crime!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Money

Two mothers-in-law.

(1832 – 1900) Irish statesman
Conflict Crime Marriage

All I know is, finally I get to kill somebody.

American actor
Conflict Killing TV/Movie Quotes

Everyone’s a pacifist between wars; it’s like being a vegetarian between meals.

(1938 – ) American journalist, teacher, lecturer & pacifist
Beliefs Conflict War

The sloppier the rebel uniform, the more likely the overthrow of the existing government.

Appearance Clothing Conflict Murphy’s Laws

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Conflict Proverbs

Shoplifter Who Soiled Clothes Fails to Wipe Record Clean

Crime Headlines

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a handgun than a packet of cigarettes.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
America Arms Situations Things

We know how much fans enjoy a good brawl, so we are going to guarantee a fight. If there is not a single five-minute fighting major given to a player, every fan in attendance will receive a free ticket to the following home game.

Conflict Fights Hockey Sports

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Arms Situations Things

I would never hit a woman – even if she had a knife or a stutter.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Conflict

She changes prices. I caught her in a near misdemeanus.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Crime Misspokements

You might be a redneck if… you got into a fistfight at your last yard sale.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Conflict Fights People Rednecks

I once asked a policeman how far it was to the subway and he said, “I don’t know, no one has ever made it.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Conflict Crime

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Communication Conflict Reading/Writing