Subject: Conflict (Page 8)

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

Everyone’s a pacifist between wars; it’s like being a vegetarian between meals.

(1938 – ) American journalist, teacher, lecturer & pacifist
Beliefs Conflict War

Remember the good old days when the only bomb you had to worry about on a plane was the Rob Schneider movie?

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Arms Conflict Entertainment Film

I don’t worry about terrorism… I was married for two years.

(1953 – 1992) American comedian
Conflict Marriage

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Conflict Marriage War

The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.

(1972 – ) English standup comedian, writer & actor
Animals Arms Government Things

The real trouble with war (modern war) is that it gives no one a chance to kill the right people.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic
Conflict Killing People War

I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Conflict Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes War

Those who hammer their guns into ploughs will plough for those who do not.

(1743 – 1826) American Founding Father & 3rd U.S. president
Arms Conflict

The world is a place that’s gone from being flat to round to crooked.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Crime Honesty Places World

Here’s how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the ‘30s… as long as you weren’t still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% change of getting away with it.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Conflict Crime

Shoplifting: Free enterprise.

Conflict Crime Definitions

They say that guns don't kill people, people kill people, but I think the guns help.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Arms Conflict Killing

By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series

(1966 – ) American journalist & novelist
Conflict Hockey Sports

I don't want to get so famous to where the guy who shoots me becomes famous.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Conflict Killing Success

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85; that’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Arms Conflict

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Conflict Proverbs

If you are going to have a fight with a visiting club, be sure to insult them the day they come to town, and not the last day of the series. It pays off better.

(1914 – 1986) American baseball team owner & promoter
Baseball Conflict Fights Sports

Looting: A public shopping spree generously sponsored by local merchants in the wake of a riot.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Crime Definitions

Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Conflict Fights Food/Drink

Revolution: An abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Conflict Definitions Government