Subject: Conflict (Page 9)

If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they only print your thumbs.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Communication Crime

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Conflict Fights Individuals People Ugly

When you consider what a chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Conflict Husbands Marriage Wives

Never raise your hand to your children it leaves your midsection unprotected.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Children Conflict People

Do not needlessly endanger your lives until I give you the signal.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Conflict War

Gun-free zones kill people

Arms Conflict Headlines

Peace: Co-existence or no no existence.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Conflict War

If the pen is mightier than the sword, in a duel I’ll let you have the pen!

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Things

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
America Democracy Elections/Voting Government Places War World

The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then enough might survive the rocks to take the citadel; this is essentially the basis of all military thinking.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Conflict Government Military War

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

Thieves respect property; they merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Conflict Crime

I don't want to get so famous to where the guy who shoots me becomes famous.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Conflict Killing Success

The world is a place that’s gone from being flat to round to crooked.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Crime Honesty Places World

A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they're loaded or not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Arms Beliefs Opinion Things

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping; men invade another country.

(1952 – ) comedian
Eating Men People Shopping War Women

L.A. is very dangerous; I carry a gun in my car, that way, in case the police stop me, I can fend them off until the press gets there.

American actor & writer
Arms Conflict Places

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Conflict Fights Things

I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Conflict Situations

Murder is a crime – describing murder is not; sex is not a crime – describing sex is.

(1917 – 1999) American sexologist
Communication Conflict Crime Language Reading/Writing

Guns don't kill people; it's those bullets ripping through the body.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Arms Conflict Death