Subject: Conflict (Page 9)

Incoming fire has the right of way.

Military Murphy’s Laws War

If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.

Conflict Military Murphy’s Laws War

If people were forced to eat what they killed, there would be no more wars.

(1936 – 1989) American social & political activist
Conflict Eating Killing People War

I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille.

(1933 – ) American comic actor, director, screenwriter & author
Conflict Killing TV/Movie Quotes

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping; men invade another country.

(1952 – ) comedian
Eating Men People Shopping War Women

Outside of the killings, [Washington] has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.

(1936 – ) American politician, Mayor of Washington, D.C.
Conflict Crime Misspokements

If we had less statesmanship we could get along with fewer battleships.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Arms Conflict Government Military Things War

The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell.

(1965 – 2010) American stand-up comedian & television personality
Communication Conflict War

When I see the Ten Most Wanted lists, I always have this thought: If we'd made them feel wanted earlier, they wouldn't be wanted now.

(1892 – 1964) singer, dancer, comedian, actor & songwriter
Conflict Crime

An Iranian moderate is one that has run out of ammunition.

(1923 – ) German-born diplomat & scholar
Arms Conflict Government People Places

Abscond: To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.

Crime Definitions

Two people fighting is not violence in hockey. It might be in tennis or bowling, but it's not in hockey.

Canadian hockey goalie & coach
Fights Hockey Sports

I don’t worry about terrorism… I was married for two years.

(1953 – 1992) American comedian
Conflict Marriage

You might be a redneck if… you got into a fistfight at your last yard sale.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Conflict Fights People Rednecks

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, knowing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Communication Conflict Speech

When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85; that’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

(1932 – 2017) comedian, social activist, critic & writer
Arms Conflict

Pacifist: A fellow who could attend a peace conference without getting into a fight.

Conflict Definitions Fights People

One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take off our shoes at the airport; thirty-one school shootings since Columbine and no change in our regulation of guns.

(1977 – ) British political comedian & television host
Arms Conflict TV/Movie Quotes

Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

Crime Definitions

A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Conflict Government Places

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education he may steal the whole railroad.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Conflict Crime Education