Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… man who put head it fruit drink, get punch in nose.

Confucius say

Confucius say… man with hand in bush not necessarily trimming shrubs.

Confucius say

Confucius say… man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.

Confucius say

Confucius say… best way for university student to turn their life completely around is to get 90 degrees.

Confucius say

Confucius say… man who have head up ass, have crappy outlook on life.

Confucius say

Confucius say… men are like cement… after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

Confucius say

Confucius say… is impossible to sling mud with clean hands.

Confucius say

Confucius say… masturbation is a solo played on a private organ.

Confucius say

Confucius say… drunk who works at an upholstery shop is a recovering alcoholic.

Confucius say

Confucius say… just because men have one, doesn't mean they have to be one.

Confucius say

Confucius say… newscaster who reports hurricanes, knows how to talk up a storm.

Confucius say

Confucius say… ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter is Eskimo Pi.

Confucius say

Confucius say… lady who go camping must beware of evil intent.

Confucius say

Confucius say… to circumcise whale, send down four skin divers.

Confucius say

Confucius say… early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy… but a social loser.

Confucius say

Confucius say… abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

Confucius say

Confucius say… he who thinks only of number one, must remember, it is next to nothing

Confucius say

Confucius say… handkerchief should be called cold storage.

Confucius say

Confucius say… old grave digger is called an elderberry.

Confucius say

Confucius say… when the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Confucius say

Confucius say… duck that fly upside down quack up.

Confucius say