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Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… cow spying on another cow is called a steak out.

Confucius say… perfect gift for man who has everything, is a burglar alarm.

Confucius say… who checks out woman's package, doesn't always work for UPS.

Confucius say… artificial insemination is procreation without recreation.

Confucius say… real estate people are a vacant lot.

Confucius say… Van Gogh was a painter because he didn't have an ear for music.

Confucius say… since lawyer joined nudist colony, he hasn't had a suit.

Confucius say… even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.

Confucius say… woman who fall in love with elevator operator, usually get the shaft.

Confucius say… grease monkey who go to bed without bathing wake up oily in the morning.

Confucius say… transvestite is one who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

Confucius say… question authority and the authorities will question you.

Confucius say… woman who is in love with priest will chase him through church and grab him by the organ.

Confucius say… who says he knows how to control a wife is called a bachelor.

Confucius say… butler with no teeth is called an in-dentured servant.

Confucius say… woman who sink in man’s arms, soon have arms in man’s sink.

Confucius say… is impossible to sling mud with clean hands.

Confucius say… even a turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.

Confucius say… putting teenager in prison, won't stop his face from breaking out.

Confucius say… ‘tis better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Confucius say… man who abuse computer get bad bytes.