Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… man with head up ass, can't see for shit.

Confucius say

Confucius say… man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Confucius say

Confucius say… alcohol is the cause of some problems and the solution to others.

Confucius say

Confucius say… carry a rabbit in a storm and the wind will blow the hare in your face.

Confucius say

Confucius say… it is not what you wear, it is how you take it off.

Confucius say

Confucius say… few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Confucius say

Confucius say… epileptic lettuce farmer makes "seizure salad."

Confucius say

Confucius say… if you run into your ex on the street, just shift into reverse and keep going.

Confucius say

Confucius say… woman who spend much time on bedspring, may get offspring.

Confucius say

Confucius say… wise speak when they have something to say; fools speak when they have to say something.

Confucius say

Confucius say… with one foot on 'yesterday' and one foot on 'tomorrow' will end up pissing on 'today'.

Confucius say

Confucius say… if you can't be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped.

Confucius say

Confucius say… crowded elevator smells different to midget.

Confucius say

Confucius say… man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.

Confucius say

Confucius say… woman who loses wedding ring in kitchen, should remove her drawers.

Confucius say

Confucius say… man who look to fortune cookie for advice probably make good busboy… ask waitress for application.

Confucius say

Confucius say… butcher who back into meat-grinder, get a little behind in his orders.

Confucius say

Confucius say… best time to buy new mattress, at first sign of spring.

Confucius say

Confucius say… vagina is like a very small hotel… one must leave his bag outside.

Confucius say

Confucius say… woman who is in love with priest will chase him through church and grab him by the organ.

Confucius say

Confucius say… prostitute with her hand in her panties is self employed.

Confucius say