Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… is better to be looked over than overlooked.

Confucius say

Confucius say… man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.

Confucius say

Confucius say… people having gift of gab, not know how to wrap it up.

Confucius say

Confucius say… creative Chinese chef without utensils can still find ways to stir soup.

Confucius say

Confucius say… look for helping hand on end of own arm.

Confucius say

Confucius say… opening in the front of your boxer shorts is called the circumvent.

Confucius say

Confucius say… church's bills are always due unto others.

Confucius say

Confucius say… man can keep his youth, by giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Confucius say

Confucius say… 12 months of drinking low-calorie beer is one Lite year.

Confucius say

Confucius say… best way for university student to turn their life completely around is to get 90 degrees.

Confucius say

Confucius say… he who sleep on bed of nails, is indeed a holy man.

Confucius say

Confucius say… to get an Irishman to climb on the roof, tell him that the drinks are on the house.

Confucius say

Confucius say… smart man is like fish: keep mouth shut and stay out of trouble.

Confucius say

Confucius say… woman who wear something from Victoria's Secret, have no more secrets.

Confucius say

Confucius say… gypsies got no babies because gypsies have crystal balls.

Confucius say

Confucius say… secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk!

Confucius say

Confucius say… gay man, who go on far, far away trip, hate leave friends behind.

Confucius say

Confucius say… old grave digger is called an elderberry.

Confucius say

Confucius say… opera is the only place where a guy gets stabbed and instead of bleeding, he sings.

Confucius say

Confucius say… Humpty Dumpty had a great fall… after a mediocre summer.

Confucius say

Confucius say… butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.

Confucius say