Subject: Confucius say

Confucius say:

Jokes using puns and often risqué double-meanings 'fictitiously attributed' to Confucius, a famous Chinese philosopher (around 500 BC.) His name is used only to lend credence to the sayings of a “wise man.”

Confucius say… marriage is like game of poker… you start with pair and end with full house.

Confucius say

Confucius say… politician is one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Confucius say

Confucius say… man with chip on shoulder have wood higher up.

Confucius say

Confucius say… who try doggie style sex, won't want to face his wife again.

Confucius say

Confucius say… man who let woman on top, will screw up.

Confucius say

Confucius say… happiness is a way station between too little and too much.

Confucius say

Confucius say… woman who wears padded bra, makes mountains out of molehills.

Confucius say

Confucius say… man who abuse computer get bad bytes.

Confucius say

Confucius say… who work all day for a pool maintenance company, will feel drained.

Confucius say

Confucius say… man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Confucius say

Confucius say… friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.

Confucius say

Confucius say… woman like dollar bill; hard to pickup, but worth effort.

Confucius say

Confucius say… heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.

Confucius say

Confucius say… early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy… but a social loser.

Confucius say

Confucius say… gypsies got no babies because gypsies have crystal balls.

Confucius say

Confucius say… couple on seven day honeymoon make whole week.

Confucius say

Confucius say… many men bite, but Fu Man Chu.

Confucius say

Confucius say… man’s wife his better half, mistress his better whole.

Confucius say

Confucius say… woman who dates gambler, gets cheated on.

Confucius say

Confucius say… she who douches with vinegar, walk around with sour puss.

Confucius say

Confucius say… if woman meets a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift, she should exchange him.

Confucius say