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Confucius say… it's not what you wear, it's how you take it off.

Confucius say… TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.

Confucius say… solving problems, dig at the roots instead of hacking at the leaves.

Confucius say… undertakers are nice – they're the last to let people down.

Confucius say… hooker with bike pedal ass all over town.

Confucius say… egghead is what Mrs. Dumpty gives Humpty.

Confucius say… man who put head it fruit drink, get punch in nose.

Confucius say… cigarette is a pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper, fire at one end, fool at the other.

Confucius say… easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Confucius say… man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.

Confucius say… couple who cross LSD with birth control pills, get a trip without the kids.

Confucius say… man with hand in pocket is all ways on the ball.

Confucius say… optimist is a person who doesn't understand the enormity of the problem.

Confucius say… man that is stuck in pantry have ass in jam.

Confucius say… magazine is a bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue.

Confucius say… chicken is result of a sitting hen, while a baby is the result of standing cock.

Confucius say… Eskimos go to Tupperware parties to find a tight seal.

Confucius say… wok is what you throw at a wabbit.

Confucius say… grease monkey who go to bed without bathing wake up oily in the morning.

Confucius say… friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.

Confucius say… to get an Irishman to climb on the roof, tell him that the drinks are on the house.