Subject: Death » Last words

Last words:

Humorous, ironic, satirical or just plain odd last words

Turn me.  I am roasted on one side.

(c.225 – 258) a deacon & celebrated Roman martyr

Goddamn the whole fucking world and everyone in it except you, Carlotta!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

No, but comfortable enough to die.

(1717 – 1780) Empress of Austria & Hungary

I remember what my grandmother said to me on her deathbed: She said: ‘I wish I’d bought a normal bed.’

British stand-up comedian, writer & actor

Now I will show you how an Italian dies!

(1968 – 2004) Italian security officer

And now, I am officially dead.

(1822 – 1903) American teacher, lawyer, iron manufacturer & politician

Utter nonsense.

(1884 – 1962) diplomat & reformer & first lady

Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist

That was a great game of golf, fellas.

(1902 – 1977) American singer & actor

The prettier. Now fight for it.

(1851 – 1929) English dramatist & playwright

I leave life so that I can walk into history.

(1882 – 1954) Brazilian dictator & democratically elected President

I hope the exit is joyful and hope never to return.

(1907 – 1954) Mexican painter

I’m not unwell, I’m f**king dying.

(1932 – 1997) British journalist

… and now for a final word from our sponsor…

(? – 2000) television writer (Days of Our Lives)

It is nothing… it is nothing…

(1863 – 1914) Archduke of Austria

No! I didn't come here to make a speech. I came here to die.

Cherokee Bill (1876 – 1896) American convicted murderer & outlaw

The nourishment is palatable.

(1800 – 1874) 13th U.S. President

Don't make a mess of it – shoot straight, you bastards.

(1864 – 1902) Anglo-Australian drover, horseman, poet & soldier

What is the time? Never mind, it’s not important…

(1817 – 1882) Hungarian journalist, writer, poet & translator

I want that 50 bucks you owe me now, and I mean now.

Carl Switzer (1927 – 1959) American actor

I am curious to see what happens in the next world to one who dies unshriven.

(c.1446/1450 – 1523) Italian Renaissance painter