Subject: Death (Page 10)

A bird in the hand is dead.

Animals Death Murphy’s Laws

A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Hope, no Cash and no Jobs; please don’t let Kevin Bacon die!

(1950 – ) American actor & comedian
Death

Why do men die before their wives? … Could it be because they want to?

(1967 – ) English comedian
Death Husbands Marriage Wives

I am off in search of the great perhaps.

(c.1494 – 1553) French Renaissance writer, doctor, monk & Greek scholar
Last words

I tried to hang myself with bungee cord… I kept almost dying.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Death

Patriotism: The willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons dreamed up by politicians.

Death Definitions

I don’t want to die in the middle of the football season; I have to know who’s No. 1 in the last polls.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Death Football Sports

I've had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that's the record.

(1914 – 1953) Welsh-born poet & writer
Last words

Errol Flynn died on a 70-foot boat with a 17-year-old girl; Walter has always wanted to go that way, but he's going to settle for a 17-footer with a 70-year-old.

(1916– 2005) American wife of Walter Cronkite
Death People Things

Where is my clock?

(1904 – 1989) Spanish surrealist painter
Last words

Only you have ever understood me… and you got it wrong.

(1770 – 1831) German philosopher
Last words

Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war.

(1932 – ) American businessman & U.S. Secretary of Defense
Conflict Death War

Ah well I suppose it has come to this… such is life.

(c.1855 – 1880) Irish Australian bushranger & outlaw
Last words

Pope John Paul didn't die… he pre-boarded.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Death

How can I die, I'm booked.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Death Entertainment

The key here, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But, to think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death

Take away those pillows. I shall need them no more.

(1832 – 1898) English author, mathematician, logician & photographer
Last words

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life’s gas pipe with a lighted candle.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Death

Death: Life’s way of telling you you’ve been fired.

Death Definitions Life

Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Death

When I hear that a man is religious, I conclude he is a rascal!

(1711 – 1776) Scottish philosopher, historian, economist & essayist
Last words