Subject: Death (Page 12)

Yes, it's tough, but not as tough as doing comedy.

(1877 – 1959) English theatre & film actor
Last words

When people bury other people, they should be damn certain that’s where they want them to be.


Death

We were making love and I took the bag off my head.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Death Ugly

Why should I worry about dying; it'’not going to happen in my lifetime!

(1919 – ) American mathematician, logician & magician
Death

I'd rather be fishing.

(c.1962 – 1987) American convicted murderer
Last words

I did not get my Spaghetti-O's, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.

Taylor C. Craig (1960 – 1995) American double-convicted murderer
Last words

Show my head to the people.  It is worth seeing.

(1759 – 1794) influential figure in the French Revolution
Last words

I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

(234 – 149 BC) Roman statesman
Death Epitaphs

Don’t think of it as dying; just think of it as leaving early to avoid the rush.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Death

Tomorrow, I shall no longer be here.

(1503 – 1566) French apothecary & reputed seer who published his prophecies
Last words

If you live long enough, something will kill you.

Death Life Murphy’s Laws

My dear, before you kiss me good-bye, fix your hair. It's a mess.

(1887 – 1974) American playwright, screenwriter, director & actor
Last words

Give me coffee, I'm going to write.

(1865 – 1918) Brazilian poet, journalist & translator
Last words

Don’t forget to delete me from your list of subscribers.

(1865 – 1936) English short-story writer, poet & novelist
Death Situations

Memorial Service: Farewell party for someone who has already left.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Death

Dammit… don't you dare ask God to help me!

(1905 – 1977) American actress
Last words

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

Death

Gents, this is an educational project. You are about to witness the damaging effect electricity has on Wood.

(? – 1963) convicted murderer
Last words

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago, because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Death Places Politics

They say you shouldn’t say nothin’ about the dead unless it’s good; he’s dead… good!

(1894 – 1975) American comedian
Communication Death Speech

I should have asked for a stunt double!

(1929 – 1982) American actor
Last words